Monday, December 29, 2008

the weight of fear....


If you know me... you know that I have a paralyzing fear. A fear that haunts me to the core. This fear to some may seem unrealistic... but to me it is very real. I have an insatiable fear of Zombies. Go ahead... get it out of your system. Laugh and point. But i'm not laughing. I am wetting my pants. Even reading the word Zombie sends shivers down my spine. My friend just purchased a brand new video game based on a Zombie Apocalypse. Just trying to play this game makes me scream like a little girl. I'm serious,... people would pay money to watch me play the game. Zombies scare me. They always have... and always will. 

Although, i'm really not ignorant enough to believe Zombies walk the Earth... I truly believe if they did... i'd be ready. I know exactly what I would do if there was an outbreak. I have had lengthy conversations about fighting tactics, defense mechanisms,
and survival. I have even read Max Brook's book: The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. My fear has created this obsession with preparing for the worst. My fear has prepared me for the future. So,... not if, but when the outbreak happens... you know who to talk to.

Fear is a funny thing. People do some incredible things because of fear, others do nothing. Fear. We all taste it... what ever it is for us... we know it well. We know what is smells like... what it feels like under our skin. We can hear fear screaming in our ears. Whether it's fear of failure, resistance or self-doubt... we know every aspect of our fear. We've played out the different scenarios in our head of how to avoid it at all costs. Fear, if you let it, will dominate you. It will stop you in your tracks and bury you. I know this feeling all to well. Too many times in my life I've let fear make up my mind for me. 

Some of my biggest heroes in life have faced fear, looked deep in it's eyes and kept on going. It's not that fear hasn't been in the way for them... they just didn't let it change their course. I want to live like that. I want to see fear... and charge right through it. I'm not naive enough to think my heroes don't have fear... they do... but they don't let it make decisions for them. I want to walk with firm steps... knowing that I am not alone and fear has no authority over me. I want to live like I believe Isaiah 41:10 

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

Do you know your fear like it's a part of you? Have you gone to extreme lengths because fear has taken you there? Know this: the only weight fear has is the weight you give it. Fear does not have the last word. God has already given you the ability to stare fear in the face... and keep on going. You just have to believe it and then do it. What will it take for you to walk with confidence knowing that God will see you through your fear? You may discover that you have been given strength you didn't even know you had!