a bread maker,...i..i..i love it!

Alright....this won't be easy. But I have a confession to make. I was listening to a speaker this past October and because of his message, I am slowly realizing that I have become what some would call a Practical Atheist.

A Practical Atheist is someone who believes God exists... but lives as if he does not. Now before you sound off the alarms and call up Benny Hinn to make my body hit the floor, hear me out. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe my life was transformed by His saving grace and I will follow Him till my last breath. BUT...and I mean a big BUT. A junk-in-the-trunk BUT. I am starting to notice little areas of my life where it reflects a lack of trust in God. And I know I'm not the only one. I look around and I sense the common struggle. I know I'm not alone in this. It's like it says in Isaiah 9:13 "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." Are you giving God just some lip service? You know what lip service is.... it's telling someone what they want to hear even if it's not what you believe in your heart. It's fake. It has no depth. It's like when your grandma gives you an ugly nick-knack...and when you open it up your face looks like you got a new Macbook but on the inside everything in you is screaming "what the H-E- double hockey sticks" And of course, it only wonders out of the storage closet when she comes over to visit!

That's what we do.....we give God our lip service. And we've become pretty good at it. But God knows the heart, He created it. God knows when we care more about pleasing people rather than pleasing Him. He knows when we believe our effort is greater than His power. We make feeble attempts to lead others to Christ, but we don't let Christ lead us. We just act like he's in charge until it comes to making a big decision. And here's the best part... we rely on ourselves and then when things go wrong, we blame it on Him! I mean, it's the best of both worlds...we make God think he's in control...but really we are, and when we mess up... we don't have to take any blame for it...because we convinced God that He was in control. God's stuck with the bill wondering how He messed up again! Practical Atheism. Believing God exists, but live life as if He does not.

It sounds silly... but this kind of character confusion goes on everyday. We do it all the time. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I SET YOU APART: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Let's be honest...we aren't kidding anybody. Before you were created God knew you! Do you really think He doesn't still know you? Not only that but He has set you apart! What does it mean in your circumstances right now to be set apart? Maybe it means we start living like we know God exists. Maybe it means we start believing that God's power is greater than our effort. Maybe it means you start over and try it again. Do you live like you know that God has set you apart and created you to do something big... or are you a Practical Atheist?

battle of the words......

I am but one,

But I am one,

I cannot do everything,

But I can do something.

What I can do

I ought to do.

And what I ought to do,

With God's help,

I will do.

-Anonymous

I read this quote yesterday and it began to stir something deep in my soul. The words struck a chord inside me that I still feel reverberating in the quietness of this morning. This whole, "trying to figure out my next step in life" thing can be frustrating. It can be so easy to let your thoughts be drowned out by the great deceivers lies! "Do you really think YOU can make a difference? Come on,...who are you...you are just one person. You are weak!" The lies echo in my thoughts..."You're not good enough. I know you for who you really are... no one knows you like I know you." I get bruised and torn with each syllable "You aren't ready for this. Give up. What's the point? You're just going to fail just like the last time."

Man,... he knows just what to say doesn't he! He knows what will fracture us at the core. The more I talk to people the more I realize how brittle our hearts can be. One word can really do some damage. Especially if we think it to be true. We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" Well, whoever made that little ditty up is a liar. I mean come on! That's denial if I've ever heard it! Words freaking hurt! Words have the power to shatter dreams and chase away hope. Words are dangerous.

It would be too easy to stop there.... wouldn't it? But there is another side to words. Words can do a lot more. Words can also reveal plans and breath new hope. You see the difference? The deceiver's words are words that we give power to. The Father's words are words that give power to us. I give power to words that simply have no power at all. That's something we often forget. If we are willing to fight, we soon realize the kind of power that can come from a brittle heart.

Have you been giving power to words that simply have no power at all? Let this poem be your battle cry! I WILL DO!

Do your steps feel heavy?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone...one of those "let me just spill all of my junk out all over the table" conversations....and in the middle of the conversation, ...you realize that it brings you great joy? Not joy like "geez, i'm glad i'm not that messed up" or joy like " finally God gave him what was comin" ...but a different kind of joy. A joy that I believe is often undiscovered in this day and age where we keep to ourselves and look to the scarred lives of reality television as a model to justify our standard of living.

Today I had what I like to call an authentic conversation. I call it authentic because we didn't talk about the weather, the steelers, or even how much we are looking forward to seeing the season premiere of LOST....! It was authentic in the fact that my friends and I talked about the things that burdened our hearts. The very things that pulled and weighed on us to the point that our beings seemed to smear on the floor behind us. Now, typically these kinds of conversations would send me spiraling into a depression that only 14 hours of sleep, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby, and at least 1 season of The Office could fix. But this time it was different. This time I found myself in the middle of the conversation having an overwhelming feeling of what I can only explain as pure joy! Joy? Now before you start judging me like a stylish male barista at Starbucks...give me a second to explain! As I sat there splattered with the stench of my friends' honesty...it gave me joy...because it made me realize that I am not alone. I bought into the lie that my junk separates me from the rest of the world. I began to believe that my junk was unique in the fact that it was...well, uglier than most. But we all have our junk...it may seem that others around us don't...but that's not true. They've just gotten really good at covering it up with their dark eyeliner, picture-perfect jump-shot, or big screen T.V. We all have our junk but we hide it. That's why I see the world hang it's head. The world sits with a slouch, because instead of sharing our burdens, we hold our breath, bite our tongue, and force a smile.

Today I experienced joy. I realized that I am not alone. I was reminded that I am surrounded by those who love me enough to ask about me instead of the weather. And it seems as though my footsteps got a lot less heavier! When was the last time you had an authentic conversation? When was the last time you spilled a little bit of your junk for the world to see?