ceci n'est pas une pipe....

When I was a kid my parents used to take me to visit an older man at his house. I don't really recall how my family knew him or why we went over his house,... in fact it may have even been my great-grandfather, i'm really not sure. The only thing I remember is that he used to always smoke a pipe, and when I was there I felt safe and comfortable. To this day I love the smell of pipe tobacco. When I smell it, it takes me back to a place in my memories where I can't help but sense contentment. 

I think we can all relate to this experience. For some reason, unbeknownst to us, our senses can arouse deep heartfelt feelings that take us back in time to specific moments and places. These sensory voyages can often be celebrated and warm,... but not always. Sometimes our newly acquired awareness conjures up feelings we wished we hadn't awoken. Feelings of fear, guilt, or even shame in pursuit to tear open the freshly healed wounds marked by their all too familiar scars. Regardless of the nature of these sensory experiences, one thing remains when you sift through the aftermath...the feelings are not a result of the trigger. I know it sounds confusing but hear me out on this. You see, a lot of times when we have a significant experience in life; whether good or bad, the effects of that experience roots itself in the core of our soul. There is a greater spiritual significance that gets lost, in fact we lose what that moment is actually about. For example, if I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable... I don't need to smoke a pipe to change my emotions. That would be ridiculous. Yet followers of Christ do this all the time!

I see this erroneous concept played out when it comes to our relationship with God. Many times we equate the location of one significant experience with God as a place where we need to go to experience the weight of God again. For example, if you had an "awakening" experience on a camping trip where you felt the glory of God in the beauty of his creation... you don't need to return back to that spot to experience that which you hunger for. Although that location will always serve as a monumental reminder of your experience... it's not necessary for an experience with God. 

So, my question is this... how do followers of Christ connect spiritually to the Creator without what seems like rare "inspired" experiences? I think we easily get caught up in thinking we can only connect with God occasionally when everything lines up right, but the truth is that every moment we live is drenched with the presence of God. When we experience moments where we feel God in our midst... it's not that God has decided to show up for an hour and then leave for more important things. God is always present, we just don't realize or acknowledge it. Psalm 139:7-10 speaks to this truth. It says: 

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? 

       Where can I flee from your presence?

 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

       if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

       if I settle on the far side of the sea,

                              10 even there your hand will guide me,                                             your right hand will hold me fast.

Regardless of where you've been or what your experiences have etched on your heart,... know this - the Creator of this world is always with you wherever you go and your mistakes do not define you. God wants nothing more than to spend more sacred moments with you... His beloved. You don't need a sacred spot to encounter God. God is already there waiting for you to recognize Him!  

just say the word...

When I was in kindergarden my parents would drop me off every sunday morning in a Sunday school class because they thought my fidgety tendencies would draw too much attention during the morning worship service at our church. Just imagine how much more theologically intelligent I would be had they not robbed those precious years of soaking up the wisdom poured out from that pulpit.  I guess I won't hold that against them, they had no idea i'd be logically deficient. Anyways, I remember those years spent in that classroom fondly. One of the many memories that often come to mind are the joys experienced as a result of Sunday morning snack time. Mrs. Johnston, our teacher would always have us recite a prayer in unison before she would rain-down plentiful amounts of goldfish crackers and teddy grahams. The prayer was almost always the same and rarely deferred off the path of conventionality. It went like this, "God is great, God is good, God thank you for the food, Amen!" Then like puppies awaiting their master's cue to indulge in a treat rewarded after obedience, a feeding chaos ensued. 

That simple repetitive prayer followed me through the years. My parents would always require one of us to pray before our dinner "conversation" would escalate into a debate and my prayer would always include Mrs. Johnston's prayer. Every once in a while I would spice things up by throwing in a little something extra, but the recipe was always the same. Unfortunately my years of prayer abuse have created a pretty adolescent understanding of the role of prayer in my life. All too often prayer is a result of duty and immediate emergency. This circumstantial prayer is not an awful thing. It is important to seek out help and voice concern in times of need and habits have good intention, but often lose their authenticity due to repetition.  

Last week this truth was brought to light in the confines of my thoughts. My staff came together with their significant others for a time of prayer for our church, Northbridge Community Church. It was a time of prayer, worship, and communion. It was awesome to be a part of something that felt so in tune to God's rhythm of the way the church should be. When we opened our time of prayer Jame, our Lead Pastor, shared something God had been teaching him about prayer that struck a chord in my heart. Jame talked about the faith of the Centurion in Luke chapter 7. The story goes something like this, Jesus was traveling from city to city teaching and doing some amazing things. Word had spread to a centurion who was troubled because his servant, whom he cared deeply for, was very sick and about to die. So, the centurion sent some of his friends to get Jesus to heal this servant. On their way back to the house, the group was met by some more friends of the centurion who had a message for Jesus. The centurion's message to Jesus was, "I'm not worthy to have you come to my house,... so just say the word and my servant will be healed!" Jesus was blown away by the centurion's faith and said, "I tell you; I have not found such great faith even in Isreal." The centurion knew that Jesus was capable of amazing things and believed that Jesus didn't even need to touch the servant to heal him. Jesus was bigger than that. The men returned to the house and the servant was alive and well. What a great story... that I often overlook. 

I wished I had faith like that. Faith to ask for something big and have all the certainty in the world that it will happen. All too often I find myself going to God with half-hearted requests that I never count on. The sad part is that when my requests turn out the way I had hoped, I rarely give God the credit. I go to God out of duty and rarely dependency. My dependency is only elevated when the waters get rough,... then I need God's help. The rest of the time I depend on my abilities. I want to have the faith to ask for big things from God. I'm sure i'm not the only one who abuses prayer. What does your prayer life look like? Is your prayer shallow and seasonal? What would it be like to have the faith and certainty of the centurion? 

time well spent...

I had so much fun spending the day with friends and family yesterday. There is nothing like having a day like the 4th of July to catch up with old friends and connect with the ones you love. I got to share stories, play some frisbee golf, and laugh until my face hurt. My highlight of the day was riding in the car with my brother to fireworks. We were messing around with the Photo Booth program on my Macbook. It was hilarious. We laughed uncontrollably at our creations.

It was a great day! It reminded me of how thankful I am to feel like I'm part of something bigger than me. It means so much to be surrounded by a group of people who love you and support you through the good and the bad. When I'm with those people I never worry whether or not I'm impressing them or if it looks like I have it all together. Those people know me. They've seen me on the mountain summit and in the damp depths of the valleys. I am me and they wouldn't have it any other way. As wonderful as it is to be a part of a family, I am haunted by the fact that this just isn't everyone's reality. Truth is that this world is populated with a half awake society who don't know the warmth of community. Droves of people walk around everyday in the silence of solitary. Do you know what it feels like to be alone? 

I was reading the story of Zacchaeus recently and I was blown away with his encounter with Jesus. The story is in Luke 19. Zacchaeus was a local outcast, a greedy tax collector who robbed his already poor community by over taxing them and reaping all the benefits. Zacchaeus hears that this miracle worker, Jesus was coming through town and everyone was buzzing about the amazing things he was doing with the sick and lame. Like anyone who has been captivated by the talk of stunning performances, Zacchaeus was determined to see the show. Being vertically challenged, (a.k.a. short) Zaachaeus climbed a tree for a better view. Jesus shows up and strikes up a conversation with Zaachaeus and then invited himself over to his house for dinner. Kind of rude of Jesus,... but it worked! Over dinner Jesus makes such a huge impact on Zacchaeus that Zacchaeus decides to change his life and start over.

A great story,... I love this story. In light of thinking about family and feeling part of something bigger, the story of Zacchaeus opened my eyes to Jesus' approach to a lonely soul. You see, Jesus didn't just notice someone who was lonely and give him a kind word or some food to eat. Jesus didn't just recognize Zacchaeus. Jesus invested time in him. This is where I believe a lot of Christians get caught up. It seems to me that when we try to live like Jesus we try to notice those people who are lonely or outsiders. We try to be really good at saying hi to the loner at the lunch table or commenting on the co-worker's new dress even if we don't like it. We do our best to spread "God's love" by making nice and neat comments. But Jesus doesn't stop where many of us do! Jesus is more than just nice! Jesus spends the evening with Zacchaeus over dinner and coffee. Jesus invests in him and listens and spends hours with him. This proves to Zacchaeus that Jesus believes he is valuable. Jesus was a busy dude. He had a lot of healing to do... yet he still sees an opportunity to change someone's life by making him feel valuable and proving it by the time he spent with him. 

This world needs more than just friendly people who make nice comments. There's nothing wrong with being friendly, and there's nothing wrong with nice comments. But if that is all you have to offer, you are coming up way short on what it means to be like Jesus. This desperate world needs people who are going to invest in the lonely and sometimes that means putting aside your own time for the sake of others and the sake of Christ. Don't try to tell me your time is more important than Jesus'. When you invest in people... it changes lives... just look at Zacchaeus!

 

can I have your story...

All last week I was speaking at a Camp called Suncrest. It was a great time and I totally enjoyed hanging out with some awesome high schoolers! On thursday night I shared a message based on the importance of sharing our stories. Our life stories have power and regardless of where we've been and what mess we've been through, God still wants to use us to redeem this world and partner with us to bring all things back to the way they were created to be. 

There is something powerful in sitting back and hearing people share their stories. Something deep and spiritual happens when you look an individual in the eye and they show you their soul. I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but when I take time to hear someone share their story, I get glimpses of the Spirit. When you take time to really listen when someone bares it all, with no strings attached, it reveals a holy authenticity founded only in the image of our flawless Creator. You sense the masterful work of His blueprint for their life. God takes the mess and makes something beautiful. I love that. 

Our stories are undeniable affirmation that God is at work in this world and everyone around you can be a captive audience. You just need to be willing and ready to be a storyteller. Our stories have power and they breed hope. People will look at what you've endured and come to the conclusion that if you've been there and you keep going, then maybe they can keep going too! We need your stories.

So this is what I want to do, I want to make this a place where others can read your stories and be inspired by what God has brought you out of. I want this to be a place where people will get glimpses of a holy authenticity that can only come from our Creator. I want to share your stories. So this is my plan... I need you to email me your stories and I will regularly post them on this blog. They can be short, they can be long, they can be whatever you want. They just have to be your story. Your story must also include a picture to represent you or your story. Let God use your story to inspire others. Let your story breed hope in a world that is desperate for it. You can email your story to me at:  rgage4@yahoo.com 

You vs. Ya'll

I have recently been listening to some incredible messages from a great teacher named Francis Chan. Francis has captured my attention on a reality of scripture that I couldn't help but share with my friends. Francis is doing a series right now on what it means to be part of the church. Living in America has really narrowed my understanding of the church. Think about it, how often do you hear the term "church shopping" or how often do you hear people complaining about a church because it doesn't do anything for them or doesn't meet their "needs." We are all guilty of becoming a part of a Christian community for selfish reasons. This mindset has permeated the way western culture Christians interact with God. We begin to act like what God has to say is all about us. We read scripture and put an individualistic angle on it. 

Think about Matthew 5:14-16 when it says, You are the light of the world... let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven. 

How many times have you read that scripture and only wrestled with it's perspective as pertaining to the way you live your life? Francis pointed out that this passage was written in a plural context. When it says You... it actually translates to You plural, like... Ya'll!  The verse should be understood to mean that the church, as a whole is the light of Christ in the world, the world will see OUR good deeds and glorify our Father in Heaven. The Bible points over and over again to God creating a people group working for one purpose and that is to glorify the one true God. 

We are a part of something bigger... it's not about you. That is such a simple principle but how often do you see the people of God constantly working to outdo each other. When Paul says we are the body of Christ he literally means we are the body of Christ... we are the flesh and blood of our Creator in this world... the hands, the feet, the ears... we are the physical representation of God at work by the power of the Spirit. It's not figurative. Shane Claiborne put it like this in his book Irresistible Revolution, "If you ask the average person how Christians live, they are struck silent. We have to show the world another way of doing life. Christians pretty much live like everybody else; they just sprinkle a little Jesus along the way... Jesus came not just to prepare us to die, but to teach us how to live!" 

The problem is that Christians don't look different because we are so focused on our own agenda's and our own journey's that we lose the importance of playing on the same team. Instead of focusing on a common goal and working together to make an impact we all build our own little teams. It's like having the abilities to dominate in the Major League but being satisfied with dominating at the club league level. Imagine how different this world would look if it became about something bigger than ourselves. It would be heck of a lot different than it is. That's for sure! How do you contribute to working toward the common goal of glorifying God as the body of Christ? Or are you more concerned with having a people group that meets your needs? This life here on earth is about more than just making you a better person... it's bigger than you. 

my walk of shame....

"The Love of God is Absolute"

-Billy Graham

I was reminded again this week of how much I love my small group. It's no wonder that the early church exploded overnight. If it was anything like my small group I can understand why everyday people were divinely inspired to do amazing things for the glory of God. This past week we were discussing how difficult it is to actually live out our faith. We found that many of us tiptoe on the tightrope of casual Christianity because of either fear, lack of confidence, or laziness. It's so easy to write off these deficiencies as actually waiting for the right moment. I mean think about it... how many times have you not chosen to speak up about something that you know is wrong because you're afraid you will be viewed as "that guy". Or how about this one... you would rather just not address that issue because it would just take too much time... and you are sure that God has someone else better equipped to deal with that person. I find myself arguing with that voice in the back of my head on a daily basis... and I think he's getting tired of the excuses. 

I was reading some old notes this afternoon and I came across this quote from Billy Graham. It kind of hit me right between the eyes. It's such a simple statement. The love of God is absolute. I find that statement to be so simple and true in it's very nature but my blurred reality seems to redefine it. I sing it's validity everyday but my casual stroll through life doesn't match the tune. 

As a follower of Jesus I am supposed to see the world with the eyes of the Savior but I don't. I am blinded by my own desires and lack of effort. There are people that I come in contact with that drive me crazy. There are people who desire my attention and I let myself get distracted by the next person in line. There are people I avoid because I don't want them to "bring me down". I choose my own comforts and cravings nine times out of ten and I'm getting tired of the lip service. 

I have been challenged recently to focus more on loving with the absolute love of God. Loving others regardless of their labels and regardless of my benefit. Everyday people are given the opportunity to chose Heaven or Hell... and I'm tired of letting Hell be an option. I want to create more opportunities for redemption... whatever that looks like. Maybe it's complementing that coworker who makes my blood boil or maybe it's taking the time to notice and listen to that person without looking for what's in it for me. All I know is this world needs more glimpses of Heaven and I can't wait around for other people to create them. It's our job as believers to reclaim this world. So what does that mean for you? How are you going to create more opportunities for people to choose Heaven? 

come all you weary...

I recently went to a concert this past week with a friend of mine. We went and saw the band Thrice play down in the strip district. The show was incredible! I have been blown away by their latest album. The lyrics of their songs are so deep and thought provoking. Thrice finished the concert with a song of their new album titled Come All You Weary. The song talks about sharing your heavy burden with those you walk through life with. The song has been kind of my mantra over the past few weeks. I feel like I am working with some people who have the heaviest of loads and they gave up carrying them a long time ago. Here are the lyrics to the song:

Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary move through the earth
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church
Got a couple of loaves sit down at my feet
Lend me your ears and break bread with me

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Come all you weary, you crippled you lame
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further on further in

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls

Let's face it... life can get heavy. Whether you are the type of person who is laden with the burden of difficult times or the type of person who is bearing the burdens of others... know this truth; you aren't alone... and we can do this together. Too many times we get caught up in thinking that this adventure called life is a journey of seclusion. We get fixated with the false reality that our life is a result of the way we live it and our environment and relationships have nothing to do with the outcome. But the truth is that our existence has everything to do with the people we wander with. We were created to need relationships. Especially the kinds of relationships that enable us to keep going. 

Think about the few people in your life who have given you the strength to keep going... the ones who stood by you and were your force and might when you were weary. We all have those people who if it weren't for them, you may have given up and thrown in the towel. Your story could have succumbed to the weight of your experience and the effects would have been irreversible. 

I encourage you to give credit where credit is due. Send those few journeymen a note of acknowledgement and gratitude. Your friends need to experience their worth and you can be a means to that end. Speak the Kingdom into the lives around you... let them know how they reflected the light of Christ to you. Those complements will never get old.

a love like this...

When I was seventeen... a dream that I had treasured for what seemed to be a lifetime finally came into fruition. I owned my very own car. It was mine. I didn't have to borrow my Mom's teal Dodge Neon anymore. I had my own car... and I didn't have to share it with anyone. I still remember the day I got it. My Grandfather called my Dad and told him that he was willing to give me his other car. My Dad gave me the "you need to be responsible and this is a privilege" talk.  Then we went to pick the car up at my Grandparents house. It was a 1986 Pontiac Sunbird. It was beautiful. The car was in great shape for it's age and still had a bit of a shine to it. It was the color of a worn penny, but to me it might as well been the color of a million dollars. 

That day that I picked up my car I began to make it mine. I bought a new radio and cow-skin seat covers that were hastily installed in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart I shopped at. I then grappled over picking a name for my new treasure. I chose the name Abe. A perfect fit. 

Now, in case you were unaware... for a senior in high school, owning your own car meant much more than just the convenience of not having to borrow your Mom's teal mobile. It took me to a whole new level. I actually skyrocketed into a whole new social scene that day. I had my own car. This meant I could actually take advantage of parking in the senior class parking lot. I could be seen by my peers every morning on my long walk of popularity from my parking space to the school. I'll never forget the anticipation I felt the day I got to broadcast my new status. It was like I was getting ready to walk the red carpet. I made sure that I picked the perfect outfit to impress my classmates and I did everything in my power to have a noticeably exceptional hair day. The setting was flawless. My moment had come... and I was ready to soak it in. 

Then my storybook dream fell apart. On my way to school that morning I was driving behind a school bus packed full of students who didn't have a car. I was following the bus marveling over the fact that I was no longer one of them. Then, without warning... the bus made a sudden stop and I smashed right into the back of it. I had my car for a week... a week! As you could imagine my biggest fear was reporting my unfortunate event to my Dad. I had scenes of intense torture and cruel punishment running through my head. I'll never forget dialing his phone number after the accident. It was like my world was crawling in super slow motion. Each number as I dialed it sounded like a drawn out wail. When my Dad picked up, I peed my pants... or at least it felt that humiliating. I told him everything that had happened and winced as I waited to hear how my life would end. Then he said something that I never expected. My Dad asked if I was okay, he told me everything would be alright, that he would take care of it and that he loved me. Do you know that feeling? That feeling like your on the edge of losing everything and then unexpectedly your world gets flipped upside down? It's a great feeling... a feeling I need to be reminded of more often.

I was reminded of that feeling today. How often have you fully digested the intensity of God's unfailing love? Think about it. God's love is incredibly simple yet unbelievably complex and unimaginable. It doesn't make sense. It's the exact opposite of what you would expect. How often do you shuffle into the presence of God expecting humiliation and disappointment and discover a safe-house of approval and hope. The love of God can't be explained by our insufficient vocabulary, but it's real and it's true and it's unlike anything that we could ever expect. When was the last time you took a moment to sit and feel the power of God's love for you? How would your day be different if you could sense the reality of God's unfailing love for you? A love like this can't be understood... and I can't get enough of it.

the devil made me do it!

Have you ever heard the saying "if the devil can't make you bad he'll make you busy?" I don't know if I honestly believe that. Lately my life feels like structured chaos. I had no idea how busy I could actually make myself. In the last few weeks my schedule has been through a vigorous work-out and free time has been nearly fictional. This current chaos is a result my own drive for connectedness and production. I am the only one who can be blamed and I think to pawn it off on something other than my own doing would be cowardly. 

In my opinion... for what it's worth... I think a lot of us give the Accuser way more credit than he deserves. As humans we are so quick to hand over responsibility... because it keeps things less messy. We think that if we aren't responsible for the mess than we won't have to worry about the clean-up. We are not unreasonably busy because it's a part of Satan's master plan. We are unreasonably busy because we won't take responsibility for our time. The devil is not making me busy... I am making me busy. It is no ones fault but my own and I know why I'm doing it. 

I have bought into the lie that my production is a result of my value. I am getting caught up in trusting my abilities over God's actuality and my busy schedule is just one aspect of my life that reveals my inconsistencies. I want to change that. I know that my true value and worth comes from the one who renews all things... even me. My plan is to slow down and enjoy the moments in life that are often overlooked as a result of life's momentum.

If the pace of life is steadily building into a sprint... it's your responsibility to take a break, catch your breath and reevaluate your priorities. Take responsibility and make time to enjoy the world around you before it's out of your view. When was the last time you didn't feel busy? When was the last time you stopped for a scenic overlook or took the long way to class just to enjoy a few more moments of fresh air? When was the last time you sat down and had a cup of coffee when it wasn't in your schedule of events for the day? Busy does not equal a happy life. Busy equals stress, irritability and distraction. Make time a priority... before it's too late.

i'm a scholar!

When I was a freshman in college... I was just like every freshman in college. I knew everything... and I mean everything. In fact, if you and I were in an argument about whether or not Aaron Neville was the most incredible musician since the creation of microphones... and you found a way to prove me wrong using flannel graph, the pythagorean theorem, and a rhombus... I would still deny your accuracy. I was a college student. I had taken the giant leap from the lowly depths of high school and made it to the big time. I was a scholar. 

That school year I was interning at a church. So, not only was I a know-it-all student... I was a know-it-all Christian student. That's like the cream of the knowledge crop. Not only did I know everything about life, I knew everything about the afterlife as well. I was a theologian and a scholar. 

My super expertise was challenged on many occasions that year but one incident stuck out to me more than any other. Jerry, my mentor and Youth Pastor at the time, and I were hanging out with a student. This student was passionate about hockey. He lived and breathed hockey. So, when we would hang out it was always the topic of conversation. Well, this conversation was no different,... we were talking about the different hockey moves you could use in a shoot-out. We were debating about the accuracy of a back-hand shot, and how you know whether or not to go to the glove or blocker side and of course if the Mighty Ducks favorite, the "Triple Dique," was even worth considering. During the entire conversation... Jerry would listen and say "what's that" or "what does that mean?" Over and over again like a toddler on his way to an amusement park,  Jerry would ask question after question. It got annoying. After the student had left I tore into Jerry and hurled abuses at him for not knowing one thing about hockey. I couldn't believe his ignorance. Jerry just sat there and just laughed at me shaking his head. Needless to say... I didn't get the joke. 

That night Jerry taught me something that I will never forget.  See, Jerry explained to me that he knew the answer to every question he asked about hockey... but he played dumb. Jerry played dumb because when someone is passionate about something and know a lot about it... they love to share and teach others about what they love. Teaching yields power. 

This is a nugget of wisdom that I have held onto for years now. You wouldn't believe the things it has done for my relationships with people. Most people are taught to always be aware of teachable moments... but I think we often forget that we need to be the ones being taught... not for the sake of learning but for the sake of helping others experience the gift of teaching. Nobody likes people who know everything. Those relationships are boring and short lived. If you have ever experienced the great joy involved in teaching someone, then you should understand the importance of sharing that experience with others around you. It may bruise your ego at first... but you'll live. If you want the right to be heard... you have to be willing to earn it. How do you expect others around you to listen and care about what you have to say if you don't take the time to return the favor? Who can you listen to today? 

The Heart of Jesus

Have you ever hurt for someone?  Have you ever literally felt pain that was inflicted on others? Do you know what it is like to endure the repeated stab of torment imposed on someone other than your self? Whether it's the discomfort of feeling out of place or the agony of going through life feeling distress and sorrow or just feeling incomplete, the fact still remains that we all feel pain. No matter to what degree... we all feel pain. It's a 100% guarantee that anyone who has ever had the pleasure of knowing what it is to feel alive... at some point in his or her life, will know the sting of pain. 

 I recently started a new chapter in my already lengthy book of life. I feel like my life journey so far would make Rand Mcnally proud. I can't imagine the detours that are sure to eventually come, but nonetheless it’s my expedition… it’s my life. The new chapter comes as a result of my new career path… if you want to call it that. Truthfully, I wanted to have a transitory new experience outside of the comfort and protection of the church. I wanted to redefine my shallow view of “ministry.” It hasn’t taken long. This experience has already convinced me that the trenches were bigger than I thought.

I am now working with kids who have endured more pain and hurt than any horror film could ever depict. If it were possible to hear a heart break it would surely drown out the reverberation of my insignificant words. I hurt for these kids. The weight of their experience chokes what innocence they have left inside. I believe this new employment has given me new insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus had to have had the trying capacity to experience the pain of those around him. Jesus wept for the ache of his community and like the foundation of a building He sustained the burden of life.

In his book A Testament Of Devotion, Thomas Kelly wrote:

“The heart is stretched through suffering, and enlarged. But O the agony of this enlarging of the heart, that one may be prepared to enter into the anguish of others! Yet the way of holy obedience leads out from the heart of God and extends through the Valley of the Shadow.”

Right now my heart is being stretched. The Valley of the Shadow is making me more aware of the pain of my community and as outlandish as it may sound; my heart is being taken on a fantastic journey of enlargement.  So what would it mean for you to have the heart of Jesus? What would it be like if you took every opportunity to let your heart be stretched? Who in your area of influence can you share the heart of Jesus with?

Jesus for sale!

This week I had a couple of interviews for some part-time work. In my search to find meaningful employment outside of the church walls I have learned a lot. I can’t believe how many times in the past few months that I have been reminded of the work that God is doing in this world… and how a lot of times the church takes my attention way from it.

Before an interview today I decided to stop at Starbucks and get a coffee. I’m not sure why, but Starbucks immediately turns me into an introvert. I usually put my headphones on and bury my head in a book. I try to eliminate all distractions and focus all of my energy into the imaginary world I create with the help of Sufjan Stevens and C.S. Lewis.  Today I forgot my headphones.  This unfortunate and rare occurrence forced me to gather up enough self-discipline to stay focused without my music induced world. As Arnold would say… I “lack discipline!” (Do your best to read that in a Schwarzenegger-like voice.)

My mind began to wander between the new Counting Crows album playing and the many conversations going on around me. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a conversation between two men. One man had an extremely odd outfit, green corduroy pants, sandals and a black Under Amour shirt. The other man was dressed in a full suit… and had a confident, solid posture. The businessman was hitting this guy hard with a sales pitch. He was trying to get the oddly dressed man, who happened to own a pet supply store, to carry his new product. It was an all-natural fair-trade pet food made from freshly caught wild salmon among other things. I could tell immediately that the Store Owner was not interested, but this Salesman wasn’t going to take no for an answer… you could tell he thought his sales pitch was infallible, he had an answer for everything. In fact, he asked the Store Owner what brand he did carry and when he responded, the Salesman laughed out loud and began to bash the other competitors. Soon after that the Store Owner got up, and walked out. Then I laughed because the Salesman began to curse like a sailor as he cleaned up his materials.

Seeing this interaction reminded me of something I read once in Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. In the book Miller writes, 

"I was a salesman for a while, and we were taught that you are supposed to point out all the benefits of a product when you are selling it. That is how I felt about some of the preachers I hear speak. They are always pointing out the benefits of Christian faith. That rubbed me wrong. It's not that there aren't benefits, there are, but did they have to talk about spirituality like it's a vacuum cleaner. I never felt like Jesus was a product."

Now don't get me wrong... I love the church. I do,... I believe the church is the bride of Christ and is a beautiful thing. And just like in a marriage, you have moments that aren't pretty, but that doesn't make me love my marriage any less. But I agree with Miller. I have been around enough churches to see that too many times the church can be more concerned with selling it's way of doing things and what it has to offer when compared to church such and such down the road rather then being concerned with the realness of THE Kingdom of God.  It seems like these days we are promoting A Kingdom of God rather than THE Kingdom of God. I honestly believe it's causing more confusion and doing more harm then good. We are becoming close minded salesmen who care more about our selling tactics than the product itself. 

So my question to you is this... are you spending majority of your time and energy into selling Jesus... are your efforts just to keep up with the bigger, trendy church down the road? Maybe its time to refocus. Now is the time to realize this is a cause driven by unity. The life-changing love of Christ sells itself! You can't make it sound any better than it already is. Just live it. 

who's behind that flashlight?

I recently joined a small group. For those of you who don't know me,... that's actually a big step. The decision was monumental because I'm one of those guys who thrives on helping other people. I love sitting down with someone and hearing the struggles of everyday life and helping people take themselves out of the situation and seeing it from a different perspective, or just spur them on with some needed encouragement to muster up the strength to put on the armor and face a new day. I love being involved in people's lives. I love the messy glimpses of what's really going on in the minds of people round me. I think I love it because it reminds me that I'm not alone and that the scuffle with the true self is something that is very real. I believe a strength of mine is relationships of character and so I love the experience of relationships. But, as many of you know your greatest strength, in turn can be your greatest weakness. My weakness is that I tend to put all the focus on others so I don't have focus on myself. It's a lot easier to hide in the shadows when you're holding the flashlight.

So, I joined this small group and it's been great. Over the past few weeks we have been sharing our stories of where we've been and where we are going. I have loved how transparent and real some of these stories have been. There is something quite powerful in hearing about the suffering endured by my new friends. What makes it so powerful is seeing how many of them have weathered the storms of life and can still walk with their heads held high. I'm sure it wasn't easy to get to that point, but they are still walking and haven't given up on the hope of things to come. It's like the suffering they have faced has made them into a prized fighter. It's truly inspiring. It makes me want to fight.


Being privileged enough to see the true self of so many around me has sparked a thought that I heard a while back from a mentor of mine. My friend taught me the importance of sharing our wounds with those around us. We can't hide behind the flashlight... our wounds we have endured, our suffering that we have faced... it brings strength to the lives of others. You see, our suffering gives us an authority to speak into the lives of those who are fighting the same fight. And people need to see that you've fought and you've survived what seems to be a losing battle to the hopeless heart. It's incredible but true... Jesus finds strength in those who suffer that they didn't even know they had. Your experience of suffering can be just what someone needs to fight one more day.


Are you hiding behind a flashlight... in hopes that the true self of others would be exposed rather than your own? Your suffering can be the strength of others. Jesus has given you the authority to speak about suffering... so maybe it's time you use it.

who needs a bigger boat?

I was recently looking through some old pictures and came across this one. My wife and I went on a cruise through Alaska with my in-laws and this was one of the pictures I took. I took this picture from the back of the boat to show how far you could see the wake of the boat. It was incredible... all you could see is open water, quiet and calm as it always is... and one long scar as far as the eyes could see where our boat cut through the water and agitated the surface. I took this picture because it reminded me of a quote I once read. I can't quite remember who it was accredited to... i'm sure it was either Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill, considering they are probably the most quoted people in all of history... and rightfully so. Those two had brilliant words of wisdom and insight. But the quote went something like this:

"The measure of a man has nothing to do with the size of his boat, but instead the wake it leaves behind."

I absolutely love that quote. And honestly it can be interpreted in many ways, but let me try to articulate what it means to me. To me, this quote speaks volumes about the legacy we choose to leave behind. We all want to leave a legacy that inspires people to integrity and life the way it was meant to be. If you're anything like me... I want my life to effect people in such a way that they would have no choice but to believe that there was potential in this world and something must be done to free it.

This is what I mean.... God created this world, and it was good. It was the way it was intended to be. And we screwed the whole thing up by living outside of God's design for us. We wanted control and thought we knew better than God. But so many people stop there. So many would be perfectly happy stopping with the world being suffocated by layers of greed, suffering and selfishness. So many are content in believing that is all there is... a messed up and hopeless world. That's just the way things are and there's no hope of changing it. The world lacks hope. I mean,... sure we get a little glimpse of hope here and there when we watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. But even that only lasts until the next commercial break.

Here's what I want my legacy to be...hope. When I leave this world and people look back at my "wake" I want lives to be changed by hope. I want hope to give the eyes people need in order to see what this world could be. I want everyone around me to become doers. I want people to have a vision of a better world and do something to make it happen. I want people to be so attuned to the needs of their surroundings that they do whatever it takes to meet those needs. I want to see an invasion of Heaven here. I know it's possible. It's not easy... but it's possible

What do you want your legacy to be? What waves are you making on this world? Or have you already bought into the lie that you need a bigger boat?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. -Proverbs 3:5-6

strengthening your senses

It's funny how at different times in your life,... some things just stand out. Some things are just easier to notice. It almost comes natural and there's no real way to explain why. Recently I have begin to notice the amount of emotion behind the human eyes. I have no idea why this all of a sudden has become something that triggers an alarm on my instinctual radar, but it's been happening more and more. It's amazing to me to see how much emotion can be expressed with a stabbing glare.

Just last week I was helping a friend of mine watch his kids and it astounded me how his little girl could relay loads of emotional information with just one uncomfortable glance. It was clear that this girl did not trust me and knew I wasn't her father. It was clear because I saw it in her eyes. This baby can't even talk yet but she said plenty with the look on her eyes.

A few days ago I went and spoke to a large group of students at a church. It was a blast. They were having a huge event that would last all night with great activities for students like ice skating, and a riverboat cruise. They had me come in and give a message about the saving grace of Jesus. I talked about how the world is messed up because we as humans are messed up. We choose to live a life of sin because it's easier than living the way we are meant to live. Then I began talking about the lies Satan whispers in our inner ear about how we will never be good enough, we won't measure up, there's no hope, and there's no point in trying to change. It was a message that I love to share because it's one that I wrestle with all of the time. Even after I spoke I began to hear Satan whisper in my ear, "you blew it, nobody was listening, that was a waste of your time, God's can't use you." He knows exactly what to say to cut you down and make you think you are incapable of anything good. Then I saw something that silenced the screams in my inner ear. I felt like all of a sudden I was under water or that I had lost my hearing and had to rely on strengthening my other senses to notice what would come next. Everything else went silent and I could hear this girl's eyes. It's like they were screaming for rescue. She walked up to me and she didn't have to say a word. I already knew.

Her eyes... seared that moment in my memory and I hope that it remains a scar. I never want to forget what her eyes shared with me. It seemed as if it was God himself telling me and the voices in my inner ear, "never underestimate me or what I'm capable of. I am bigger than you could ever possibly understand and nothing can stop my ferocious love." God speaks through anything and everything. The truths of our Savior are saturated in our everyday lives. God is trying to tell you something and sooner or later you are going to hear it in ways you couldn't imagine. Listen with your whole being and you will hear the message.

Are those fighting words???

So, I've been fighting this inner battle as of late... and I can't seem to determine yet who is winning. It's making me more aware of the many crusades that are fought everyday but go unnoticed because the echoes of war are muffled by chest cavities. It shouldn't surprise me how often these battles are fought considering the state of the world and it's desperate need of redemption, but it does. I mean, everybody seems all cool and collected. Tidy and neat. But if you could hear the silent screams of fear and criticism...the shouts ringing inside our heads, out of earshot to rest of the world...then maybe our perceptions would fade. Everybody fights the war of the heart and i'm recently reminded of that.

I've been fighting for confidence. The enemy has hurled arrows of insult at me and my armor is feeling insufficient. I don't know how much more I can take. I have the overwhelming sense that I can't do anything. That no matter how hard I try, I will never measure up to what i'm capable of becuase it's too difficult. It will take too much work... and too much time. I can't fight like this...I have no real weapons. All I have is my heart and in it's bruised and battered state, it's close to surrender. Surrender...surrender? Why would I even consider it? If I surrender... I truly have nothing. And if I have nothing...what will identify me...what will be my worth? Why does this thought all of a sudden feel so irresistibly freeing? Has this fight really been about something else?

It seems that the tables have turned. This inner conflict really isn't about a lack of confidence in myself, it's been about a lack of confidence in God. It's been a battle over control and the enemy really wasn't the evil tyrant I imagined him to be. I'm the tyrant. I'm the control hungry man who wants to have the final say. But life doesn't work that way. You can't claim a faith in God and not be willing to give Him what is rightfully His. And I am rightfully His...you are rightfully His. Oh, and by the way, I'm not talking about Sunday you, or Gave-the-homeless-man-a-dollar you, or Read-The-Purpose-Driven-Life-in-public-as-a-witnessing-tool-you. Giving God little moments like these are easy and take virtually no effort. It's easy to claim God's supremecy in these moments. But what about when you feel like you are literally walking through the hopelessness of hell. What about moments like those? You know what those moments are...those are the moments that really show us how genuine our faith really is. Jesus isn't interested in redeeming moments...Jesus wants to make ALL THINGS new.

When we choose to believe there is no hope, in essence we are telling God that He is not capable of doing His work in the world and that is unaccpetable. Our small dreams are incapable of concieveing the plans the Lord has and in the same token our minds tend to limit God to our own agendas. That is why the thought of surrendering the battle is so freeing. When you take the step to give up control and the need to understand you then start to realize the opposition was actually fighting for you and not against you. Be careful not to misinterpret peace talks for fighting words...it will really save you some avoidable wounds.

To Whom it May Concern,

There's no easy way to say this... so, i'm just going to say it. You have something of mine and I want it back. You took it a few years ago and I acted like I didn't care. In fact, I was so good at acting like I didn't care, that I actually convinced myself that I really didn't care. But the truth is... I did. I am beginning to realize how much the truth hurts. I feel like you robbed me of something that you had no right to take. The thing that kills me is that I just let you take it. I didn't even put up a fight. And now I walk around feeling incomplete. I feel like a ghost going through the motions of everyday life feeling a fraction of what I should be. And instead of seeking out what is rightfully mine... I let you consume my moments. All I can think about is how much you've wronged me... and how you can still smile while you cut me deeper. I carry this...everyday! I struggle with the weight of this every single step. Like a cinderblock is tied to my back, i'm slowed by the bitterness and pain that you've left me with... and you're not worth it. You don't deserve the amount of time I spend thinking about you. So,... I just wanted to let you know... that your reign is over. As difficult as it is for me to say and whether you care or not... I forgive you! Did you hear me???? I said,... I forgive you. And I mean it. I won't carry this weight any longer. The crazy thing is that this has helped me realize that i've always had the power to take back what you've taken. I just didn't put forth the effort. I gave you more strength than you ever had. So, i've taken it back and I will gaurd it and fight for it till my last breath. I found my peace.

Rob

a bread maker,...i..i..i love it!

Alright....this won't be easy. But I have a confession to make. I was listening to a speaker this past October and because of his message, I am slowly realizing that I have become what some would call a Practical Atheist.

A Practical Atheist is someone who believes God exists... but lives as if he does not. Now before you sound off the alarms and call up Benny Hinn to make my body hit the floor, hear me out. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe my life was transformed by His saving grace and I will follow Him till my last breath. BUT...and I mean a big BUT. A junk-in-the-trunk BUT. I am starting to notice little areas of my life where it reflects a lack of trust in God. And I know I'm not the only one. I look around and I sense the common struggle. I know I'm not alone in this. It's like it says in Isaiah 9:13 "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." Are you giving God just some lip service? You know what lip service is.... it's telling someone what they want to hear even if it's not what you believe in your heart. It's fake. It has no depth. It's like when your grandma gives you an ugly nick-knack...and when you open it up your face looks like you got a new Macbook but on the inside everything in you is screaming "what the H-E- double hockey sticks" And of course, it only wonders out of the storage closet when she comes over to visit!

That's what we do.....we give God our lip service. And we've become pretty good at it. But God knows the heart, He created it. God knows when we care more about pleasing people rather than pleasing Him. He knows when we believe our effort is greater than His power. We make feeble attempts to lead others to Christ, but we don't let Christ lead us. We just act like he's in charge until it comes to making a big decision. And here's the best part... we rely on ourselves and then when things go wrong, we blame it on Him! I mean, it's the best of both worlds...we make God think he's in control...but really we are, and when we mess up... we don't have to take any blame for it...because we convinced God that He was in control. God's stuck with the bill wondering how He messed up again! Practical Atheism. Believing God exists, but live life as if He does not.

It sounds silly... but this kind of character confusion goes on everyday. We do it all the time. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I SET YOU APART: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Let's be honest...we aren't kidding anybody. Before you were created God knew you! Do you really think He doesn't still know you? Not only that but He has set you apart! What does it mean in your circumstances right now to be set apart? Maybe it means we start living like we know God exists. Maybe it means we start believing that God's power is greater than our effort. Maybe it means you start over and try it again. Do you live like you know that God has set you apart and created you to do something big... or are you a Practical Atheist?

battle of the words......

I am but one,

But I am one,

I cannot do everything,

But I can do something.

What I can do

I ought to do.

And what I ought to do,

With God's help,

I will do.

-Anonymous

I read this quote yesterday and it began to stir something deep in my soul. The words struck a chord inside me that I still feel reverberating in the quietness of this morning. This whole, "trying to figure out my next step in life" thing can be frustrating. It can be so easy to let your thoughts be drowned out by the great deceivers lies! "Do you really think YOU can make a difference? Come on,...who are you...you are just one person. You are weak!" The lies echo in my thoughts..."You're not good enough. I know you for who you really are... no one knows you like I know you." I get bruised and torn with each syllable "You aren't ready for this. Give up. What's the point? You're just going to fail just like the last time."

Man,... he knows just what to say doesn't he! He knows what will fracture us at the core. The more I talk to people the more I realize how brittle our hearts can be. One word can really do some damage. Especially if we think it to be true. We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" Well, whoever made that little ditty up is a liar. I mean come on! That's denial if I've ever heard it! Words freaking hurt! Words have the power to shatter dreams and chase away hope. Words are dangerous.

It would be too easy to stop there.... wouldn't it? But there is another side to words. Words can do a lot more. Words can also reveal plans and breath new hope. You see the difference? The deceiver's words are words that we give power to. The Father's words are words that give power to us. I give power to words that simply have no power at all. That's something we often forget. If we are willing to fight, we soon realize the kind of power that can come from a brittle heart.

Have you been giving power to words that simply have no power at all? Let this poem be your battle cry! I WILL DO!

Do your steps feel heavy?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone...one of those "let me just spill all of my junk out all over the table" conversations....and in the middle of the conversation, ...you realize that it brings you great joy? Not joy like "geez, i'm glad i'm not that messed up" or joy like " finally God gave him what was comin" ...but a different kind of joy. A joy that I believe is often undiscovered in this day and age where we keep to ourselves and look to the scarred lives of reality television as a model to justify our standard of living.

Today I had what I like to call an authentic conversation. I call it authentic because we didn't talk about the weather, the steelers, or even how much we are looking forward to seeing the season premiere of LOST....! It was authentic in the fact that my friends and I talked about the things that burdened our hearts. The very things that pulled and weighed on us to the point that our beings seemed to smear on the floor behind us. Now, typically these kinds of conversations would send me spiraling into a depression that only 14 hours of sleep, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby, and at least 1 season of The Office could fix. But this time it was different. This time I found myself in the middle of the conversation having an overwhelming feeling of what I can only explain as pure joy! Joy? Now before you start judging me like a stylish male barista at Starbucks...give me a second to explain! As I sat there splattered with the stench of my friends' honesty...it gave me joy...because it made me realize that I am not alone. I bought into the lie that my junk separates me from the rest of the world. I began to believe that my junk was unique in the fact that it was...well, uglier than most. But we all have our junk...it may seem that others around us don't...but that's not true. They've just gotten really good at covering it up with their dark eyeliner, picture-perfect jump-shot, or big screen T.V. We all have our junk but we hide it. That's why I see the world hang it's head. The world sits with a slouch, because instead of sharing our burdens, we hold our breath, bite our tongue, and force a smile.

Today I experienced joy. I realized that I am not alone. I was reminded that I am surrounded by those who love me enough to ask about me instead of the weather. And it seems as though my footsteps got a lot less heavier! When was the last time you had an authentic conversation? When was the last time you spilled a little bit of your junk for the world to see?