the devil made me do it!

Have you ever heard the saying "if the devil can't make you bad he'll make you busy?" I don't know if I honestly believe that. Lately my life feels like structured chaos. I had no idea how busy I could actually make myself. In the last few weeks my schedule has been through a vigorous work-out and free time has been nearly fictional. This current chaos is a result my own drive for connectedness and production. I am the only one who can be blamed and I think to pawn it off on something other than my own doing would be cowardly. 

In my opinion... for what it's worth... I think a lot of us give the Accuser way more credit than he deserves. As humans we are so quick to hand over responsibility... because it keeps things less messy. We think that if we aren't responsible for the mess than we won't have to worry about the clean-up. We are not unreasonably busy because it's a part of Satan's master plan. We are unreasonably busy because we won't take responsibility for our time. The devil is not making me busy... I am making me busy. It is no ones fault but my own and I know why I'm doing it. 

I have bought into the lie that my production is a result of my value. I am getting caught up in trusting my abilities over God's actuality and my busy schedule is just one aspect of my life that reveals my inconsistencies. I want to change that. I know that my true value and worth comes from the one who renews all things... even me. My plan is to slow down and enjoy the moments in life that are often overlooked as a result of life's momentum.

If the pace of life is steadily building into a sprint... it's your responsibility to take a break, catch your breath and reevaluate your priorities. Take responsibility and make time to enjoy the world around you before it's out of your view. When was the last time you didn't feel busy? When was the last time you stopped for a scenic overlook or took the long way to class just to enjoy a few more moments of fresh air? When was the last time you sat down and had a cup of coffee when it wasn't in your schedule of events for the day? Busy does not equal a happy life. Busy equals stress, irritability and distraction. Make time a priority... before it's too late.

i'm a scholar!

When I was a freshman in college... I was just like every freshman in college. I knew everything... and I mean everything. In fact, if you and I were in an argument about whether or not Aaron Neville was the most incredible musician since the creation of microphones... and you found a way to prove me wrong using flannel graph, the pythagorean theorem, and a rhombus... I would still deny your accuracy. I was a college student. I had taken the giant leap from the lowly depths of high school and made it to the big time. I was a scholar. 

That school year I was interning at a church. So, not only was I a know-it-all student... I was a know-it-all Christian student. That's like the cream of the knowledge crop. Not only did I know everything about life, I knew everything about the afterlife as well. I was a theologian and a scholar. 

My super expertise was challenged on many occasions that year but one incident stuck out to me more than any other. Jerry, my mentor and Youth Pastor at the time, and I were hanging out with a student. This student was passionate about hockey. He lived and breathed hockey. So, when we would hang out it was always the topic of conversation. Well, this conversation was no different,... we were talking about the different hockey moves you could use in a shoot-out. We were debating about the accuracy of a back-hand shot, and how you know whether or not to go to the glove or blocker side and of course if the Mighty Ducks favorite, the "Triple Dique," was even worth considering. During the entire conversation... Jerry would listen and say "what's that" or "what does that mean?" Over and over again like a toddler on his way to an amusement park,  Jerry would ask question after question. It got annoying. After the student had left I tore into Jerry and hurled abuses at him for not knowing one thing about hockey. I couldn't believe his ignorance. Jerry just sat there and just laughed at me shaking his head. Needless to say... I didn't get the joke. 

That night Jerry taught me something that I will never forget.  See, Jerry explained to me that he knew the answer to every question he asked about hockey... but he played dumb. Jerry played dumb because when someone is passionate about something and know a lot about it... they love to share and teach others about what they love. Teaching yields power. 

This is a nugget of wisdom that I have held onto for years now. You wouldn't believe the things it has done for my relationships with people. Most people are taught to always be aware of teachable moments... but I think we often forget that we need to be the ones being taught... not for the sake of learning but for the sake of helping others experience the gift of teaching. Nobody likes people who know everything. Those relationships are boring and short lived. If you have ever experienced the great joy involved in teaching someone, then you should understand the importance of sharing that experience with others around you. It may bruise your ego at first... but you'll live. If you want the right to be heard... you have to be willing to earn it. How do you expect others around you to listen and care about what you have to say if you don't take the time to return the favor? Who can you listen to today? 

The Heart of Jesus

Have you ever hurt for someone?  Have you ever literally felt pain that was inflicted on others? Do you know what it is like to endure the repeated stab of torment imposed on someone other than your self? Whether it's the discomfort of feeling out of place or the agony of going through life feeling distress and sorrow or just feeling incomplete, the fact still remains that we all feel pain. No matter to what degree... we all feel pain. It's a 100% guarantee that anyone who has ever had the pleasure of knowing what it is to feel alive... at some point in his or her life, will know the sting of pain. 

 I recently started a new chapter in my already lengthy book of life. I feel like my life journey so far would make Rand Mcnally proud. I can't imagine the detours that are sure to eventually come, but nonetheless it’s my expedition… it’s my life. The new chapter comes as a result of my new career path… if you want to call it that. Truthfully, I wanted to have a transitory new experience outside of the comfort and protection of the church. I wanted to redefine my shallow view of “ministry.” It hasn’t taken long. This experience has already convinced me that the trenches were bigger than I thought.

I am now working with kids who have endured more pain and hurt than any horror film could ever depict. If it were possible to hear a heart break it would surely drown out the reverberation of my insignificant words. I hurt for these kids. The weight of their experience chokes what innocence they have left inside. I believe this new employment has given me new insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus had to have had the trying capacity to experience the pain of those around him. Jesus wept for the ache of his community and like the foundation of a building He sustained the burden of life.

In his book A Testament Of Devotion, Thomas Kelly wrote:

“The heart is stretched through suffering, and enlarged. But O the agony of this enlarging of the heart, that one may be prepared to enter into the anguish of others! Yet the way of holy obedience leads out from the heart of God and extends through the Valley of the Shadow.”

Right now my heart is being stretched. The Valley of the Shadow is making me more aware of the pain of my community and as outlandish as it may sound; my heart is being taken on a fantastic journey of enlargement.  So what would it mean for you to have the heart of Jesus? What would it be like if you took every opportunity to let your heart be stretched? Who in your area of influence can you share the heart of Jesus with?

Jesus for sale!

This week I had a couple of interviews for some part-time work. In my search to find meaningful employment outside of the church walls I have learned a lot. I can’t believe how many times in the past few months that I have been reminded of the work that God is doing in this world… and how a lot of times the church takes my attention way from it.

Before an interview today I decided to stop at Starbucks and get a coffee. I’m not sure why, but Starbucks immediately turns me into an introvert. I usually put my headphones on and bury my head in a book. I try to eliminate all distractions and focus all of my energy into the imaginary world I create with the help of Sufjan Stevens and C.S. Lewis.  Today I forgot my headphones.  This unfortunate and rare occurrence forced me to gather up enough self-discipline to stay focused without my music induced world. As Arnold would say… I “lack discipline!” (Do your best to read that in a Schwarzenegger-like voice.)

My mind began to wander between the new Counting Crows album playing and the many conversations going on around me. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a conversation between two men. One man had an extremely odd outfit, green corduroy pants, sandals and a black Under Amour shirt. The other man was dressed in a full suit… and had a confident, solid posture. The businessman was hitting this guy hard with a sales pitch. He was trying to get the oddly dressed man, who happened to own a pet supply store, to carry his new product. It was an all-natural fair-trade pet food made from freshly caught wild salmon among other things. I could tell immediately that the Store Owner was not interested, but this Salesman wasn’t going to take no for an answer… you could tell he thought his sales pitch was infallible, he had an answer for everything. In fact, he asked the Store Owner what brand he did carry and when he responded, the Salesman laughed out loud and began to bash the other competitors. Soon after that the Store Owner got up, and walked out. Then I laughed because the Salesman began to curse like a sailor as he cleaned up his materials.

Seeing this interaction reminded me of something I read once in Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. In the book Miller writes, 

"I was a salesman for a while, and we were taught that you are supposed to point out all the benefits of a product when you are selling it. That is how I felt about some of the preachers I hear speak. They are always pointing out the benefits of Christian faith. That rubbed me wrong. It's not that there aren't benefits, there are, but did they have to talk about spirituality like it's a vacuum cleaner. I never felt like Jesus was a product."

Now don't get me wrong... I love the church. I do,... I believe the church is the bride of Christ and is a beautiful thing. And just like in a marriage, you have moments that aren't pretty, but that doesn't make me love my marriage any less. But I agree with Miller. I have been around enough churches to see that too many times the church can be more concerned with selling it's way of doing things and what it has to offer when compared to church such and such down the road rather then being concerned with the realness of THE Kingdom of God.  It seems like these days we are promoting A Kingdom of God rather than THE Kingdom of God. I honestly believe it's causing more confusion and doing more harm then good. We are becoming close minded salesmen who care more about our selling tactics than the product itself. 

So my question to you is this... are you spending majority of your time and energy into selling Jesus... are your efforts just to keep up with the bigger, trendy church down the road? Maybe its time to refocus. Now is the time to realize this is a cause driven by unity. The life-changing love of Christ sells itself! You can't make it sound any better than it already is. Just live it.