the cost of character...

"A man lays the foundation of true greatness when he becomes more concerned with building his character than with expanding his reputation." - William A. Ward

When I was in 6th grade I did something most 6th graders only dream of. I pulled off an enormous feat. Something so extraordinary that when I look back on it now, I am still astounded at my ability to engineer something so methodical yet so sinister. I was good... and I knew it. 

It was the Christmas season of 1993. It was my brother's turn to open up the present that I had probably spent three dollars on at the school Santa Shop. I knew it wasn't anything special... I only bought gifts for my brothers because I had to. It was a fake gold chain. As my brother opened his present he screamed with excitement. You would have thought I bought him a Super Nintendo. I had no idea such a cheap gift that I spent zero time picking out would cause such a commotion. My brother loved it. Over the next week I became extremely jealous over his love for the necklace. I began to wish I had bought it for myself. 

As a kid I would attend an Awana's program at a local baptist church every Friday night. On one occasion I begged my brother to wear the necklace. I thought for sure I would get the attention that I had known all too well. My notions were confirmed when I showed up that night. I walked around puffed up as kids began to notice my borrowed status symbol. Little did they know that it really wasn't anything special. They had no idea that it was already starting to tarnish and would sometimes leave a bluish-green stain around my neck. Later that night a boy much younger than I approached me with a proposition. He began to tell me that for Christmas his Grandmother had given him not one, but two crisp one hundred dollar bills. I had never even seen a hundred dollar bill before. I doubted their existence so he pulled them out of his pocket and instantly I was awestruck.  It didn't take long to make me a believer. He then told me that he was prepared to give one of the hundred dollar bills to me in exchange for my brothers necklace. Well, I didn't even hesitate... I mean come on, do you know how many cheap necklaces I can buy with one hundred dollars! It was the perfect scandal... and I was rich. I even ended up telling my brother I had lost his necklace and I never had to buy him a new one. Many years later I shared that story with my family. They couldn't believe I did such a horrible thing. It really was awful.  What is even more awful is the way it reflected my fractured character at such a young age. 

I once heard someone say, "Character is what you are when nobody is looking." I remember when having "good character" used to be an important thing to aim for. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to believe it's something less sought after these days. I feel like everyday I hear about people who are willing to whore out their integrity in the search of self-gain. Whatever happened to the desire to do what is right... even when nobody else is watching? Does striving for integrity still exist? Is altruism real? I believe it is... I know it is. I write this to serve as a reminder. All too often I find myself looking back on good intentions that never really surface because I'm too lazy to grapple over what I want and what is right. I forget that righteous character is worth fighting for! 

Are you contributing to the demise of good character? Do you find yourself reluctant to fight for what is virtuous and honorable? Do you willingly hand over your integrity for instant gratification? It's easy to do... we all do it. But if there is ever going to be hope for this world, it requires people who are willing and ready to stand up and do battle with themselves. People who will do the right thing even if nobody notices. It starts with the small things. Is the character of Christ worth fighting for? What will it take... what do you need to do?