long time, no see...

My life has been chaotic for the past few months. Hence why I haven't written anything on here in a while. With everything that goes along with planting a church, working part-time with The Pittsburgh Kids Foundation and attempting to be a good husband... extra minutes in a day are few and far between. The past few months have forced me to appreciate the short silent moments I randomly discover throughout the day. I value them. I wished I had more of them. 

I have seen and experienced a lot over the last few months, but the one thing that has been on my radar lately is the unfailing, faithful work of God through His followers. It's amazing to me how God chooses to do His work through us. It's not like He has any obligation to. He doesn't owe us to partner with Him. It's not like we struck some kind of deal with God that if we "give" our hearts to Him, He will work through us. It's just something He does... He does it all the time. Over the last few months I have seen normal everyday people do extraordinary things, not by their own power, but through the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through them. 

I spoke with someone who was haunted by mistakes of the past... and when we spoke, it was like God was revealing to them the unbelievable power that He has over the lies of the Accuser. I didn't do or say anything special... neither did the person I was talking to. But God still displayed the weight of His authority. It was a "lightbulb" moment for both of us. We saw the face of God in a conversation of pain and regret... and hope was born. Why does He do that? How does He do that? I'm so glad I don't know. I like not having the capability of understanding the enormity of God or the reason for His work. The experience is all I need. 

God displays Himself like this all of the time through people. That's church for me! Church is when I see the work of God through people. We are incapable of doing anything good with out the work of God in us. All that you do is not a result of who you are... it's about who is working through you. That gives me a whole new appreciation for my mission in this world. I don't want people to see me. Because if they see me... they will see a distraction. I want you to see God... through me, not because of what I do, but because of what He is doing in and through me. 

May your life be about His reflection. May your work be about the privilege of having the Creator working through you. May your conversations be the very words of God exhaling from your soul... and may your heart be that of His. 

just say the word...

When I was in kindergarden my parents would drop me off every sunday morning in a Sunday school class because they thought my fidgety tendencies would draw too much attention during the morning worship service at our church. Just imagine how much more theologically intelligent I would be had they not robbed those precious years of soaking up the wisdom poured out from that pulpit.  I guess I won't hold that against them, they had no idea i'd be logically deficient. Anyways, I remember those years spent in that classroom fondly. One of the many memories that often come to mind are the joys experienced as a result of Sunday morning snack time. Mrs. Johnston, our teacher would always have us recite a prayer in unison before she would rain-down plentiful amounts of goldfish crackers and teddy grahams. The prayer was almost always the same and rarely deferred off the path of conventionality. It went like this, "God is great, God is good, God thank you for the food, Amen!" Then like puppies awaiting their master's cue to indulge in a treat rewarded after obedience, a feeding chaos ensued. 

That simple repetitive prayer followed me through the years. My parents would always require one of us to pray before our dinner "conversation" would escalate into a debate and my prayer would always include Mrs. Johnston's prayer. Every once in a while I would spice things up by throwing in a little something extra, but the recipe was always the same. Unfortunately my years of prayer abuse have created a pretty adolescent understanding of the role of prayer in my life. All too often prayer is a result of duty and immediate emergency. This circumstantial prayer is not an awful thing. It is important to seek out help and voice concern in times of need and habits have good intention, but often lose their authenticity due to repetition.  

Last week this truth was brought to light in the confines of my thoughts. My staff came together with their significant others for a time of prayer for our church, Northbridge Community Church. It was a time of prayer, worship, and communion. It was awesome to be a part of something that felt so in tune to God's rhythm of the way the church should be. When we opened our time of prayer Jame, our Lead Pastor, shared something God had been teaching him about prayer that struck a chord in my heart. Jame talked about the faith of the Centurion in Luke chapter 7. The story goes something like this, Jesus was traveling from city to city teaching and doing some amazing things. Word had spread to a centurion who was troubled because his servant, whom he cared deeply for, was very sick and about to die. So, the centurion sent some of his friends to get Jesus to heal this servant. On their way back to the house, the group was met by some more friends of the centurion who had a message for Jesus. The centurion's message to Jesus was, "I'm not worthy to have you come to my house,... so just say the word and my servant will be healed!" Jesus was blown away by the centurion's faith and said, "I tell you; I have not found such great faith even in Isreal." The centurion knew that Jesus was capable of amazing things and believed that Jesus didn't even need to touch the servant to heal him. Jesus was bigger than that. The men returned to the house and the servant was alive and well. What a great story... that I often overlook. 

I wished I had faith like that. Faith to ask for something big and have all the certainty in the world that it will happen. All too often I find myself going to God with half-hearted requests that I never count on. The sad part is that when my requests turn out the way I had hoped, I rarely give God the credit. I go to God out of duty and rarely dependency. My dependency is only elevated when the waters get rough,... then I need God's help. The rest of the time I depend on my abilities. I want to have the faith to ask for big things from God. I'm sure i'm not the only one who abuses prayer. What does your prayer life look like? Is your prayer shallow and seasonal? What would it be like to have the faith and certainty of the centurion? 

Jesus for sale!

This week I had a couple of interviews for some part-time work. In my search to find meaningful employment outside of the church walls I have learned a lot. I can’t believe how many times in the past few months that I have been reminded of the work that God is doing in this world… and how a lot of times the church takes my attention way from it.

Before an interview today I decided to stop at Starbucks and get a coffee. I’m not sure why, but Starbucks immediately turns me into an introvert. I usually put my headphones on and bury my head in a book. I try to eliminate all distractions and focus all of my energy into the imaginary world I create with the help of Sufjan Stevens and C.S. Lewis.  Today I forgot my headphones.  This unfortunate and rare occurrence forced me to gather up enough self-discipline to stay focused without my music induced world. As Arnold would say… I “lack discipline!” (Do your best to read that in a Schwarzenegger-like voice.)

My mind began to wander between the new Counting Crows album playing and the many conversations going on around me. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a conversation between two men. One man had an extremely odd outfit, green corduroy pants, sandals and a black Under Amour shirt. The other man was dressed in a full suit… and had a confident, solid posture. The businessman was hitting this guy hard with a sales pitch. He was trying to get the oddly dressed man, who happened to own a pet supply store, to carry his new product. It was an all-natural fair-trade pet food made from freshly caught wild salmon among other things. I could tell immediately that the Store Owner was not interested, but this Salesman wasn’t going to take no for an answer… you could tell he thought his sales pitch was infallible, he had an answer for everything. In fact, he asked the Store Owner what brand he did carry and when he responded, the Salesman laughed out loud and began to bash the other competitors. Soon after that the Store Owner got up, and walked out. Then I laughed because the Salesman began to curse like a sailor as he cleaned up his materials.

Seeing this interaction reminded me of something I read once in Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. In the book Miller writes, 

"I was a salesman for a while, and we were taught that you are supposed to point out all the benefits of a product when you are selling it. That is how I felt about some of the preachers I hear speak. They are always pointing out the benefits of Christian faith. That rubbed me wrong. It's not that there aren't benefits, there are, but did they have to talk about spirituality like it's a vacuum cleaner. I never felt like Jesus was a product."

Now don't get me wrong... I love the church. I do,... I believe the church is the bride of Christ and is a beautiful thing. And just like in a marriage, you have moments that aren't pretty, but that doesn't make me love my marriage any less. But I agree with Miller. I have been around enough churches to see that too many times the church can be more concerned with selling it's way of doing things and what it has to offer when compared to church such and such down the road rather then being concerned with the realness of THE Kingdom of God.  It seems like these days we are promoting A Kingdom of God rather than THE Kingdom of God. I honestly believe it's causing more confusion and doing more harm then good. We are becoming close minded salesmen who care more about our selling tactics than the product itself. 

So my question to you is this... are you spending majority of your time and energy into selling Jesus... are your efforts just to keep up with the bigger, trendy church down the road? Maybe its time to refocus. Now is the time to realize this is a cause driven by unity. The life-changing love of Christ sells itself! You can't make it sound any better than it already is. Just live it. 

Ask and you shall.... keep asking?

Someone said something to me yesterday and since then,... I feel as if it sparked a thought that has been ringing in my ears all week. My friend recently went through some fairly significant life change and was commenting on prayer... he said some thing along the lines of how surprised he was of how much of his prayer life consists of asking God for stuff. He said that and at that moment it was like my world stopped. It was like one of those scenes in a movie when the camera all of a sudden does a quick zoom to a tight shot of my face and you can literally hear the wheels turning in my head! That comment shook me... it made me see a reality that I often turned my gaze from. 

I began to really think and process why this thought hit me to the core and then I realized it. I realized something i didn't want to realize. I realized my prayer life consists so much of me asking God for things that I fear that if I didn't ask for things,... I would have nothing to say. Complete and utter silence... probably uncomfortable and naked silence. Is my relationship with God really that shallow? Is my relationship with God like that of a stranger I meet at my table at a wedding reception... soaking with friendly greetings, pointless chatter and fake interest. Wow... I hate those conversations because they feel so phony and forced. I don't want my relationship with God to be like that... I want it to be so real that it hurts. 

So,... yesterday I decided I would spend this week in prayer but I wasn't allowed to ask God for anything. Our conversation could only consist of praise and silence. It was so difficult. I had to catch myself and stop... a lot.... in fact, more times than i'd like to admit. I told God during my morning drive that I would spend it in complete silence and try to hear what He had to say. A minute later a tractor trailer in front of me blew it's tire and almost hit me. I really don't know what that's supposed to mean. I haven't really drawn any conclusions about it yet, I know God is revealing a good work in me... i just don't have the eyes to see it yet, but I'm sure it will come in His time. Control is a hard thing to give up... but when you do... it changes your perspective and you start seeing things a little clearer!

P.S. You need to get the new Leeland CD....... incredible!