time well spent...

I had so much fun spending the day with friends and family yesterday. There is nothing like having a day like the 4th of July to catch up with old friends and connect with the ones you love. I got to share stories, play some frisbee golf, and laugh until my face hurt. My highlight of the day was riding in the car with my brother to fireworks. We were messing around with the Photo Booth program on my Macbook. It was hilarious. We laughed uncontrollably at our creations.

It was a great day! It reminded me of how thankful I am to feel like I'm part of something bigger than me. It means so much to be surrounded by a group of people who love you and support you through the good and the bad. When I'm with those people I never worry whether or not I'm impressing them or if it looks like I have it all together. Those people know me. They've seen me on the mountain summit and in the damp depths of the valleys. I am me and they wouldn't have it any other way. As wonderful as it is to be a part of a family, I am haunted by the fact that this just isn't everyone's reality. Truth is that this world is populated with a half awake society who don't know the warmth of community. Droves of people walk around everyday in the silence of solitary. Do you know what it feels like to be alone? 

I was reading the story of Zacchaeus recently and I was blown away with his encounter with Jesus. The story is in Luke 19. Zacchaeus was a local outcast, a greedy tax collector who robbed his already poor community by over taxing them and reaping all the benefits. Zacchaeus hears that this miracle worker, Jesus was coming through town and everyone was buzzing about the amazing things he was doing with the sick and lame. Like anyone who has been captivated by the talk of stunning performances, Zacchaeus was determined to see the show. Being vertically challenged, (a.k.a. short) Zaachaeus climbed a tree for a better view. Jesus shows up and strikes up a conversation with Zaachaeus and then invited himself over to his house for dinner. Kind of rude of Jesus,... but it worked! Over dinner Jesus makes such a huge impact on Zacchaeus that Zacchaeus decides to change his life and start over.

A great story,... I love this story. In light of thinking about family and feeling part of something bigger, the story of Zacchaeus opened my eyes to Jesus' approach to a lonely soul. You see, Jesus didn't just notice someone who was lonely and give him a kind word or some food to eat. Jesus didn't just recognize Zacchaeus. Jesus invested time in him. This is where I believe a lot of Christians get caught up. It seems to me that when we try to live like Jesus we try to notice those people who are lonely or outsiders. We try to be really good at saying hi to the loner at the lunch table or commenting on the co-worker's new dress even if we don't like it. We do our best to spread "God's love" by making nice and neat comments. But Jesus doesn't stop where many of us do! Jesus is more than just nice! Jesus spends the evening with Zacchaeus over dinner and coffee. Jesus invests in him and listens and spends hours with him. This proves to Zacchaeus that Jesus believes he is valuable. Jesus was a busy dude. He had a lot of healing to do... yet he still sees an opportunity to change someone's life by making him feel valuable and proving it by the time he spent with him. 

This world needs more than just friendly people who make nice comments. There's nothing wrong with being friendly, and there's nothing wrong with nice comments. But if that is all you have to offer, you are coming up way short on what it means to be like Jesus. This desperate world needs people who are going to invest in the lonely and sometimes that means putting aside your own time for the sake of others and the sake of Christ. Don't try to tell me your time is more important than Jesus'. When you invest in people... it changes lives... just look at Zacchaeus!

 

come all you weary...

I recently went to a concert this past week with a friend of mine. We went and saw the band Thrice play down in the strip district. The show was incredible! I have been blown away by their latest album. The lyrics of their songs are so deep and thought provoking. Thrice finished the concert with a song of their new album titled Come All You Weary. The song talks about sharing your heavy burden with those you walk through life with. The song has been kind of my mantra over the past few weeks. I feel like I am working with some people who have the heaviest of loads and they gave up carrying them a long time ago. Here are the lyrics to the song:

Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary move through the earth
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church
Got a couple of loaves sit down at my feet
Lend me your ears and break bread with me

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Come all you weary, you crippled you lame
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further on further in

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls

Let's face it... life can get heavy. Whether you are the type of person who is laden with the burden of difficult times or the type of person who is bearing the burdens of others... know this truth; you aren't alone... and we can do this together. Too many times we get caught up in thinking that this adventure called life is a journey of seclusion. We get fixated with the false reality that our life is a result of the way we live it and our environment and relationships have nothing to do with the outcome. But the truth is that our existence has everything to do with the people we wander with. We were created to need relationships. Especially the kinds of relationships that enable us to keep going. 

Think about the few people in your life who have given you the strength to keep going... the ones who stood by you and were your force and might when you were weary. We all have those people who if it weren't for them, you may have given up and thrown in the towel. Your story could have succumbed to the weight of your experience and the effects would have been irreversible. 

I encourage you to give credit where credit is due. Send those few journeymen a note of acknowledgement and gratitude. Your friends need to experience their worth and you can be a means to that end. Speak the Kingdom into the lives around you... let them know how they reflected the light of Christ to you. Those complements will never get old.

a love like this...

When I was seventeen... a dream that I had treasured for what seemed to be a lifetime finally came into fruition. I owned my very own car. It was mine. I didn't have to borrow my Mom's teal Dodge Neon anymore. I had my own car... and I didn't have to share it with anyone. I still remember the day I got it. My Grandfather called my Dad and told him that he was willing to give me his other car. My Dad gave me the "you need to be responsible and this is a privilege" talk.  Then we went to pick the car up at my Grandparents house. It was a 1986 Pontiac Sunbird. It was beautiful. The car was in great shape for it's age and still had a bit of a shine to it. It was the color of a worn penny, but to me it might as well been the color of a million dollars. 

That day that I picked up my car I began to make it mine. I bought a new radio and cow-skin seat covers that were hastily installed in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart I shopped at. I then grappled over picking a name for my new treasure. I chose the name Abe. A perfect fit. 

Now, in case you were unaware... for a senior in high school, owning your own car meant much more than just the convenience of not having to borrow your Mom's teal mobile. It took me to a whole new level. I actually skyrocketed into a whole new social scene that day. I had my own car. This meant I could actually take advantage of parking in the senior class parking lot. I could be seen by my peers every morning on my long walk of popularity from my parking space to the school. I'll never forget the anticipation I felt the day I got to broadcast my new status. It was like I was getting ready to walk the red carpet. I made sure that I picked the perfect outfit to impress my classmates and I did everything in my power to have a noticeably exceptional hair day. The setting was flawless. My moment had come... and I was ready to soak it in. 

Then my storybook dream fell apart. On my way to school that morning I was driving behind a school bus packed full of students who didn't have a car. I was following the bus marveling over the fact that I was no longer one of them. Then, without warning... the bus made a sudden stop and I smashed right into the back of it. I had my car for a week... a week! As you could imagine my biggest fear was reporting my unfortunate event to my Dad. I had scenes of intense torture and cruel punishment running through my head. I'll never forget dialing his phone number after the accident. It was like my world was crawling in super slow motion. Each number as I dialed it sounded like a drawn out wail. When my Dad picked up, I peed my pants... or at least it felt that humiliating. I told him everything that had happened and winced as I waited to hear how my life would end. Then he said something that I never expected. My Dad asked if I was okay, he told me everything would be alright, that he would take care of it and that he loved me. Do you know that feeling? That feeling like your on the edge of losing everything and then unexpectedly your world gets flipped upside down? It's a great feeling... a feeling I need to be reminded of more often.

I was reminded of that feeling today. How often have you fully digested the intensity of God's unfailing love? Think about it. God's love is incredibly simple yet unbelievably complex and unimaginable. It doesn't make sense. It's the exact opposite of what you would expect. How often do you shuffle into the presence of God expecting humiliation and disappointment and discover a safe-house of approval and hope. The love of God can't be explained by our insufficient vocabulary, but it's real and it's true and it's unlike anything that we could ever expect. When was the last time you took a moment to sit and feel the power of God's love for you? How would your day be different if you could sense the reality of God's unfailing love for you? A love like this can't be understood... and I can't get enough of it.

the devil made me do it!

Have you ever heard the saying "if the devil can't make you bad he'll make you busy?" I don't know if I honestly believe that. Lately my life feels like structured chaos. I had no idea how busy I could actually make myself. In the last few weeks my schedule has been through a vigorous work-out and free time has been nearly fictional. This current chaos is a result my own drive for connectedness and production. I am the only one who can be blamed and I think to pawn it off on something other than my own doing would be cowardly. 

In my opinion... for what it's worth... I think a lot of us give the Accuser way more credit than he deserves. As humans we are so quick to hand over responsibility... because it keeps things less messy. We think that if we aren't responsible for the mess than we won't have to worry about the clean-up. We are not unreasonably busy because it's a part of Satan's master plan. We are unreasonably busy because we won't take responsibility for our time. The devil is not making me busy... I am making me busy. It is no ones fault but my own and I know why I'm doing it. 

I have bought into the lie that my production is a result of my value. I am getting caught up in trusting my abilities over God's actuality and my busy schedule is just one aspect of my life that reveals my inconsistencies. I want to change that. I know that my true value and worth comes from the one who renews all things... even me. My plan is to slow down and enjoy the moments in life that are often overlooked as a result of life's momentum.

If the pace of life is steadily building into a sprint... it's your responsibility to take a break, catch your breath and reevaluate your priorities. Take responsibility and make time to enjoy the world around you before it's out of your view. When was the last time you didn't feel busy? When was the last time you stopped for a scenic overlook or took the long way to class just to enjoy a few more moments of fresh air? When was the last time you sat down and had a cup of coffee when it wasn't in your schedule of events for the day? Busy does not equal a happy life. Busy equals stress, irritability and distraction. Make time a priority... before it's too late.

The Heart of Jesus

Have you ever hurt for someone?  Have you ever literally felt pain that was inflicted on others? Do you know what it is like to endure the repeated stab of torment imposed on someone other than your self? Whether it's the discomfort of feeling out of place or the agony of going through life feeling distress and sorrow or just feeling incomplete, the fact still remains that we all feel pain. No matter to what degree... we all feel pain. It's a 100% guarantee that anyone who has ever had the pleasure of knowing what it is to feel alive... at some point in his or her life, will know the sting of pain. 

 I recently started a new chapter in my already lengthy book of life. I feel like my life journey so far would make Rand Mcnally proud. I can't imagine the detours that are sure to eventually come, but nonetheless it’s my expedition… it’s my life. The new chapter comes as a result of my new career path… if you want to call it that. Truthfully, I wanted to have a transitory new experience outside of the comfort and protection of the church. I wanted to redefine my shallow view of “ministry.” It hasn’t taken long. This experience has already convinced me that the trenches were bigger than I thought.

I am now working with kids who have endured more pain and hurt than any horror film could ever depict. If it were possible to hear a heart break it would surely drown out the reverberation of my insignificant words. I hurt for these kids. The weight of their experience chokes what innocence they have left inside. I believe this new employment has given me new insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus had to have had the trying capacity to experience the pain of those around him. Jesus wept for the ache of his community and like the foundation of a building He sustained the burden of life.

In his book A Testament Of Devotion, Thomas Kelly wrote:

“The heart is stretched through suffering, and enlarged. But O the agony of this enlarging of the heart, that one may be prepared to enter into the anguish of others! Yet the way of holy obedience leads out from the heart of God and extends through the Valley of the Shadow.”

Right now my heart is being stretched. The Valley of the Shadow is making me more aware of the pain of my community and as outlandish as it may sound; my heart is being taken on a fantastic journey of enlargement.  So what would it mean for you to have the heart of Jesus? What would it be like if you took every opportunity to let your heart be stretched? Who in your area of influence can you share the heart of Jesus with?

Jesus for sale!

This week I had a couple of interviews for some part-time work. In my search to find meaningful employment outside of the church walls I have learned a lot. I can’t believe how many times in the past few months that I have been reminded of the work that God is doing in this world… and how a lot of times the church takes my attention way from it.

Before an interview today I decided to stop at Starbucks and get a coffee. I’m not sure why, but Starbucks immediately turns me into an introvert. I usually put my headphones on and bury my head in a book. I try to eliminate all distractions and focus all of my energy into the imaginary world I create with the help of Sufjan Stevens and C.S. Lewis.  Today I forgot my headphones.  This unfortunate and rare occurrence forced me to gather up enough self-discipline to stay focused without my music induced world. As Arnold would say… I “lack discipline!” (Do your best to read that in a Schwarzenegger-like voice.)

My mind began to wander between the new Counting Crows album playing and the many conversations going on around me. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a conversation between two men. One man had an extremely odd outfit, green corduroy pants, sandals and a black Under Amour shirt. The other man was dressed in a full suit… and had a confident, solid posture. The businessman was hitting this guy hard with a sales pitch. He was trying to get the oddly dressed man, who happened to own a pet supply store, to carry his new product. It was an all-natural fair-trade pet food made from freshly caught wild salmon among other things. I could tell immediately that the Store Owner was not interested, but this Salesman wasn’t going to take no for an answer… you could tell he thought his sales pitch was infallible, he had an answer for everything. In fact, he asked the Store Owner what brand he did carry and when he responded, the Salesman laughed out loud and began to bash the other competitors. Soon after that the Store Owner got up, and walked out. Then I laughed because the Salesman began to curse like a sailor as he cleaned up his materials.

Seeing this interaction reminded me of something I read once in Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. In the book Miller writes, 

"I was a salesman for a while, and we were taught that you are supposed to point out all the benefits of a product when you are selling it. That is how I felt about some of the preachers I hear speak. They are always pointing out the benefits of Christian faith. That rubbed me wrong. It's not that there aren't benefits, there are, but did they have to talk about spirituality like it's a vacuum cleaner. I never felt like Jesus was a product."

Now don't get me wrong... I love the church. I do,... I believe the church is the bride of Christ and is a beautiful thing. And just like in a marriage, you have moments that aren't pretty, but that doesn't make me love my marriage any less. But I agree with Miller. I have been around enough churches to see that too many times the church can be more concerned with selling it's way of doing things and what it has to offer when compared to church such and such down the road rather then being concerned with the realness of THE Kingdom of God.  It seems like these days we are promoting A Kingdom of God rather than THE Kingdom of God. I honestly believe it's causing more confusion and doing more harm then good. We are becoming close minded salesmen who care more about our selling tactics than the product itself. 

So my question to you is this... are you spending majority of your time and energy into selling Jesus... are your efforts just to keep up with the bigger, trendy church down the road? Maybe its time to refocus. Now is the time to realize this is a cause driven by unity. The life-changing love of Christ sells itself! You can't make it sound any better than it already is. Just live it. 

who's behind that flashlight?

I recently joined a small group. For those of you who don't know me,... that's actually a big step. The decision was monumental because I'm one of those guys who thrives on helping other people. I love sitting down with someone and hearing the struggles of everyday life and helping people take themselves out of the situation and seeing it from a different perspective, or just spur them on with some needed encouragement to muster up the strength to put on the armor and face a new day. I love being involved in people's lives. I love the messy glimpses of what's really going on in the minds of people round me. I think I love it because it reminds me that I'm not alone and that the scuffle with the true self is something that is very real. I believe a strength of mine is relationships of character and so I love the experience of relationships. But, as many of you know your greatest strength, in turn can be your greatest weakness. My weakness is that I tend to put all the focus on others so I don't have focus on myself. It's a lot easier to hide in the shadows when you're holding the flashlight.

So, I joined this small group and it's been great. Over the past few weeks we have been sharing our stories of where we've been and where we are going. I have loved how transparent and real some of these stories have been. There is something quite powerful in hearing about the suffering endured by my new friends. What makes it so powerful is seeing how many of them have weathered the storms of life and can still walk with their heads held high. I'm sure it wasn't easy to get to that point, but they are still walking and haven't given up on the hope of things to come. It's like the suffering they have faced has made them into a prized fighter. It's truly inspiring. It makes me want to fight.


Being privileged enough to see the true self of so many around me has sparked a thought that I heard a while back from a mentor of mine. My friend taught me the importance of sharing our wounds with those around us. We can't hide behind the flashlight... our wounds we have endured, our suffering that we have faced... it brings strength to the lives of others. You see, our suffering gives us an authority to speak into the lives of those who are fighting the same fight. And people need to see that you've fought and you've survived what seems to be a losing battle to the hopeless heart. It's incredible but true... Jesus finds strength in those who suffer that they didn't even know they had. Your experience of suffering can be just what someone needs to fight one more day.


Are you hiding behind a flashlight... in hopes that the true self of others would be exposed rather than your own? Your suffering can be the strength of others. Jesus has given you the authority to speak about suffering... so maybe it's time you use it.

strengthening your senses

It's funny how at different times in your life,... some things just stand out. Some things are just easier to notice. It almost comes natural and there's no real way to explain why. Recently I have begin to notice the amount of emotion behind the human eyes. I have no idea why this all of a sudden has become something that triggers an alarm on my instinctual radar, but it's been happening more and more. It's amazing to me to see how much emotion can be expressed with a stabbing glare.

Just last week I was helping a friend of mine watch his kids and it astounded me how his little girl could relay loads of emotional information with just one uncomfortable glance. It was clear that this girl did not trust me and knew I wasn't her father. It was clear because I saw it in her eyes. This baby can't even talk yet but she said plenty with the look on her eyes.

A few days ago I went and spoke to a large group of students at a church. It was a blast. They were having a huge event that would last all night with great activities for students like ice skating, and a riverboat cruise. They had me come in and give a message about the saving grace of Jesus. I talked about how the world is messed up because we as humans are messed up. We choose to live a life of sin because it's easier than living the way we are meant to live. Then I began talking about the lies Satan whispers in our inner ear about how we will never be good enough, we won't measure up, there's no hope, and there's no point in trying to change. It was a message that I love to share because it's one that I wrestle with all of the time. Even after I spoke I began to hear Satan whisper in my ear, "you blew it, nobody was listening, that was a waste of your time, God's can't use you." He knows exactly what to say to cut you down and make you think you are incapable of anything good. Then I saw something that silenced the screams in my inner ear. I felt like all of a sudden I was under water or that I had lost my hearing and had to rely on strengthening my other senses to notice what would come next. Everything else went silent and I could hear this girl's eyes. It's like they were screaming for rescue. She walked up to me and she didn't have to say a word. I already knew.

Her eyes... seared that moment in my memory and I hope that it remains a scar. I never want to forget what her eyes shared with me. It seemed as if it was God himself telling me and the voices in my inner ear, "never underestimate me or what I'm capable of. I am bigger than you could ever possibly understand and nothing can stop my ferocious love." God speaks through anything and everything. The truths of our Savior are saturated in our everyday lives. God is trying to tell you something and sooner or later you are going to hear it in ways you couldn't imagine. Listen with your whole being and you will hear the message.

To Whom it May Concern,

There's no easy way to say this... so, i'm just going to say it. You have something of mine and I want it back. You took it a few years ago and I acted like I didn't care. In fact, I was so good at acting like I didn't care, that I actually convinced myself that I really didn't care. But the truth is... I did. I am beginning to realize how much the truth hurts. I feel like you robbed me of something that you had no right to take. The thing that kills me is that I just let you take it. I didn't even put up a fight. And now I walk around feeling incomplete. I feel like a ghost going through the motions of everyday life feeling a fraction of what I should be. And instead of seeking out what is rightfully mine... I let you consume my moments. All I can think about is how much you've wronged me... and how you can still smile while you cut me deeper. I carry this...everyday! I struggle with the weight of this every single step. Like a cinderblock is tied to my back, i'm slowed by the bitterness and pain that you've left me with... and you're not worth it. You don't deserve the amount of time I spend thinking about you. So,... I just wanted to let you know... that your reign is over. As difficult as it is for me to say and whether you care or not... I forgive you! Did you hear me???? I said,... I forgive you. And I mean it. I won't carry this weight any longer. The crazy thing is that this has helped me realize that i've always had the power to take back what you've taken. I just didn't put forth the effort. I gave you more strength than you ever had. So, i've taken it back and I will gaurd it and fight for it till my last breath. I found my peace.

Rob