the cost of character...

"A man lays the foundation of true greatness when he becomes more concerned with building his character than with expanding his reputation." - William A. Ward

When I was in 6th grade I did something most 6th graders only dream of. I pulled off an enormous feat. Something so extraordinary that when I look back on it now, I am still astounded at my ability to engineer something so methodical yet so sinister. I was good... and I knew it. 

It was the Christmas season of 1993. It was my brother's turn to open up the present that I had probably spent three dollars on at the school Santa Shop. I knew it wasn't anything special... I only bought gifts for my brothers because I had to. It was a fake gold chain. As my brother opened his present he screamed with excitement. You would have thought I bought him a Super Nintendo. I had no idea such a cheap gift that I spent zero time picking out would cause such a commotion. My brother loved it. Over the next week I became extremely jealous over his love for the necklace. I began to wish I had bought it for myself. 

As a kid I would attend an Awana's program at a local baptist church every Friday night. On one occasion I begged my brother to wear the necklace. I thought for sure I would get the attention that I had known all too well. My notions were confirmed when I showed up that night. I walked around puffed up as kids began to notice my borrowed status symbol. Little did they know that it really wasn't anything special. They had no idea that it was already starting to tarnish and would sometimes leave a bluish-green stain around my neck. Later that night a boy much younger than I approached me with a proposition. He began to tell me that for Christmas his Grandmother had given him not one, but two crisp one hundred dollar bills. I had never even seen a hundred dollar bill before. I doubted their existence so he pulled them out of his pocket and instantly I was awestruck.  It didn't take long to make me a believer. He then told me that he was prepared to give one of the hundred dollar bills to me in exchange for my brothers necklace. Well, I didn't even hesitate... I mean come on, do you know how many cheap necklaces I can buy with one hundred dollars! It was the perfect scandal... and I was rich. I even ended up telling my brother I had lost his necklace and I never had to buy him a new one. Many years later I shared that story with my family. They couldn't believe I did such a horrible thing. It really was awful.  What is even more awful is the way it reflected my fractured character at such a young age. 

I once heard someone say, "Character is what you are when nobody is looking." I remember when having "good character" used to be an important thing to aim for. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to believe it's something less sought after these days. I feel like everyday I hear about people who are willing to whore out their integrity in the search of self-gain. Whatever happened to the desire to do what is right... even when nobody else is watching? Does striving for integrity still exist? Is altruism real? I believe it is... I know it is. I write this to serve as a reminder. All too often I find myself looking back on good intentions that never really surface because I'm too lazy to grapple over what I want and what is right. I forget that righteous character is worth fighting for! 

Are you contributing to the demise of good character? Do you find yourself reluctant to fight for what is virtuous and honorable? Do you willingly hand over your integrity for instant gratification? It's easy to do... we all do it. But if there is ever going to be hope for this world, it requires people who are willing and ready to stand up and do battle with themselves. People who will do the right thing even if nobody notices. It starts with the small things. Is the character of Christ worth fighting for? What will it take... what do you need to do?

long time, no see...

My life has been chaotic for the past few months. Hence why I haven't written anything on here in a while. With everything that goes along with planting a church, working part-time with The Pittsburgh Kids Foundation and attempting to be a good husband... extra minutes in a day are few and far between. The past few months have forced me to appreciate the short silent moments I randomly discover throughout the day. I value them. I wished I had more of them. 

I have seen and experienced a lot over the last few months, but the one thing that has been on my radar lately is the unfailing, faithful work of God through His followers. It's amazing to me how God chooses to do His work through us. It's not like He has any obligation to. He doesn't owe us to partner with Him. It's not like we struck some kind of deal with God that if we "give" our hearts to Him, He will work through us. It's just something He does... He does it all the time. Over the last few months I have seen normal everyday people do extraordinary things, not by their own power, but through the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through them. 

I spoke with someone who was haunted by mistakes of the past... and when we spoke, it was like God was revealing to them the unbelievable power that He has over the lies of the Accuser. I didn't do or say anything special... neither did the person I was talking to. But God still displayed the weight of His authority. It was a "lightbulb" moment for both of us. We saw the face of God in a conversation of pain and regret... and hope was born. Why does He do that? How does He do that? I'm so glad I don't know. I like not having the capability of understanding the enormity of God or the reason for His work. The experience is all I need. 

God displays Himself like this all of the time through people. That's church for me! Church is when I see the work of God through people. We are incapable of doing anything good with out the work of God in us. All that you do is not a result of who you are... it's about who is working through you. That gives me a whole new appreciation for my mission in this world. I don't want people to see me. Because if they see me... they will see a distraction. I want you to see God... through me, not because of what I do, but because of what He is doing in and through me. 

May your life be about His reflection. May your work be about the privilege of having the Creator working through you. May your conversations be the very words of God exhaling from your soul... and may your heart be that of His. 

spiritual mile markers...

This past friday I had one of those surreal moments when you think to yourself... How did I get here?!? The Pittsburgh Kids Foundation was having an "Office Warming" party to celebrate their move to their new offices on Federal Street right next to PNC Park. It was a great cook-out filled with college stories, turkey burgers, and winding up little kids. That night was Fireworks Night for the Pirates so we got to lounge on the rooftop and watch the breathtaking display light up the sky and feel it thunder in our chests! I sat there with some of my closest friends and shared my disbelief of the fortune we had to experience such an event. It felt like we were on an episode of MTV Cribs or something like that. It's funny how being in a moment like that gave us a sense that we somehow reached a pinnacle. Being on top of a building in the middle of the city made us feel important and valued and inspired us to just laugh. That night we were on top of the world... and like always, it was short lived. The next morning reminded me of my true reality when I wrestled with the rose bush engulfing my backyard. Important people who partied on top of buildings weren't supposed to toil over landscaping. 

I think people who are continually trying to follow Christ experience these same kinds of moments. I know we all have moments where we feel like we've reached a new level in our relationship with God. Maybe it was a result of a message someone taught that shook you to the core and inspired you to go and do something. Maybe it was when you were worshipping and the words you'd been singing for so long finally made sense. Maybe it was in the quiet of silence where God revealed something inside of you that was hiding for a long,...long time. Maybe it was the face of someone after you sacrificially gave of yourself  to them. We all have moments in our journey that leave a mark. Spiritual mile markers. Moments when we realize that our current state has nothing to do with what we did but, it is a result of what God is doing in and through us. Spiritual moments when God gets our attention and gives us a new perspective. These moments change our lives. These moments... set the course of our lives in a new direction and the ramifications could never be comprehended. 

Unfortunately these moments fade... and many times are short lived. Reality hits and we are reminded of the mess the next morning. Inspiration withers... and motivation dies. We often forget the importance of mapping out our mile markers. There is great power in remembering where you've been and what God has brought you out of. When I look back and think of where I have been... it gives me an overwhelming realization that God has yet to let me down. God has seen me through so much and He will continue to do so. He does this for all of His children...we just need to look back and see it. 

So, my question to you is this... when was the last time you took a moment to remember your spiritual mile markers? How did those moments flip your world upside down? And how will the fact that God has always been faithful change your perspective on whatever is going on in your life right now? Life is full of moments on the rooftops and moments when the rose bushes slow you down... but that will never change the fact that you are his beloved and it never will!

You vs. Ya'll

I have recently been listening to some incredible messages from a great teacher named Francis Chan. Francis has captured my attention on a reality of scripture that I couldn't help but share with my friends. Francis is doing a series right now on what it means to be part of the church. Living in America has really narrowed my understanding of the church. Think about it, how often do you hear the term "church shopping" or how often do you hear people complaining about a church because it doesn't do anything for them or doesn't meet their "needs." We are all guilty of becoming a part of a Christian community for selfish reasons. This mindset has permeated the way western culture Christians interact with God. We begin to act like what God has to say is all about us. We read scripture and put an individualistic angle on it. 

Think about Matthew 5:14-16 when it says, You are the light of the world... let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven. 

How many times have you read that scripture and only wrestled with it's perspective as pertaining to the way you live your life? Francis pointed out that this passage was written in a plural context. When it says You... it actually translates to You plural, like... Ya'll!  The verse should be understood to mean that the church, as a whole is the light of Christ in the world, the world will see OUR good deeds and glorify our Father in Heaven. The Bible points over and over again to God creating a people group working for one purpose and that is to glorify the one true God. 

We are a part of something bigger... it's not about you. That is such a simple principle but how often do you see the people of God constantly working to outdo each other. When Paul says we are the body of Christ he literally means we are the body of Christ... we are the flesh and blood of our Creator in this world... the hands, the feet, the ears... we are the physical representation of God at work by the power of the Spirit. It's not figurative. Shane Claiborne put it like this in his book Irresistible Revolution, "If you ask the average person how Christians live, they are struck silent. We have to show the world another way of doing life. Christians pretty much live like everybody else; they just sprinkle a little Jesus along the way... Jesus came not just to prepare us to die, but to teach us how to live!" 

The problem is that Christians don't look different because we are so focused on our own agenda's and our own journey's that we lose the importance of playing on the same team. Instead of focusing on a common goal and working together to make an impact we all build our own little teams. It's like having the abilities to dominate in the Major League but being satisfied with dominating at the club league level. Imagine how different this world would look if it became about something bigger than ourselves. It would be heck of a lot different than it is. That's for sure! How do you contribute to working toward the common goal of glorifying God as the body of Christ? Or are you more concerned with having a people group that meets your needs? This life here on earth is about more than just making you a better person... it's bigger than you. 

my walk of shame....

"The Love of God is Absolute"

-Billy Graham

I was reminded again this week of how much I love my small group. It's no wonder that the early church exploded overnight. If it was anything like my small group I can understand why everyday people were divinely inspired to do amazing things for the glory of God. This past week we were discussing how difficult it is to actually live out our faith. We found that many of us tiptoe on the tightrope of casual Christianity because of either fear, lack of confidence, or laziness. It's so easy to write off these deficiencies as actually waiting for the right moment. I mean think about it... how many times have you not chosen to speak up about something that you know is wrong because you're afraid you will be viewed as "that guy". Or how about this one... you would rather just not address that issue because it would just take too much time... and you are sure that God has someone else better equipped to deal with that person. I find myself arguing with that voice in the back of my head on a daily basis... and I think he's getting tired of the excuses. 

I was reading some old notes this afternoon and I came across this quote from Billy Graham. It kind of hit me right between the eyes. It's such a simple statement. The love of God is absolute. I find that statement to be so simple and true in it's very nature but my blurred reality seems to redefine it. I sing it's validity everyday but my casual stroll through life doesn't match the tune. 

As a follower of Jesus I am supposed to see the world with the eyes of the Savior but I don't. I am blinded by my own desires and lack of effort. There are people that I come in contact with that drive me crazy. There are people who desire my attention and I let myself get distracted by the next person in line. There are people I avoid because I don't want them to "bring me down". I choose my own comforts and cravings nine times out of ten and I'm getting tired of the lip service. 

I have been challenged recently to focus more on loving with the absolute love of God. Loving others regardless of their labels and regardless of my benefit. Everyday people are given the opportunity to chose Heaven or Hell... and I'm tired of letting Hell be an option. I want to create more opportunities for redemption... whatever that looks like. Maybe it's complementing that coworker who makes my blood boil or maybe it's taking the time to notice and listen to that person without looking for what's in it for me. All I know is this world needs more glimpses of Heaven and I can't wait around for other people to create them. It's our job as believers to reclaim this world. So what does that mean for you? How are you going to create more opportunities for people to choose Heaven? 

come all you weary...

I recently went to a concert this past week with a friend of mine. We went and saw the band Thrice play down in the strip district. The show was incredible! I have been blown away by their latest album. The lyrics of their songs are so deep and thought provoking. Thrice finished the concert with a song of their new album titled Come All You Weary. The song talks about sharing your heavy burden with those you walk through life with. The song has been kind of my mantra over the past few weeks. I feel like I am working with some people who have the heaviest of loads and they gave up carrying them a long time ago. Here are the lyrics to the song:

Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary move through the earth
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church
Got a couple of loaves sit down at my feet
Lend me your ears and break bread with me

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Come all you weary, you crippled you lame
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further on further in

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls

Let's face it... life can get heavy. Whether you are the type of person who is laden with the burden of difficult times or the type of person who is bearing the burdens of others... know this truth; you aren't alone... and we can do this together. Too many times we get caught up in thinking that this adventure called life is a journey of seclusion. We get fixated with the false reality that our life is a result of the way we live it and our environment and relationships have nothing to do with the outcome. But the truth is that our existence has everything to do with the people we wander with. We were created to need relationships. Especially the kinds of relationships that enable us to keep going. 

Think about the few people in your life who have given you the strength to keep going... the ones who stood by you and were your force and might when you were weary. We all have those people who if it weren't for them, you may have given up and thrown in the towel. Your story could have succumbed to the weight of your experience and the effects would have been irreversible. 

I encourage you to give credit where credit is due. Send those few journeymen a note of acknowledgement and gratitude. Your friends need to experience their worth and you can be a means to that end. Speak the Kingdom into the lives around you... let them know how they reflected the light of Christ to you. Those complements will never get old.

a love like this...

When I was seventeen... a dream that I had treasured for what seemed to be a lifetime finally came into fruition. I owned my very own car. It was mine. I didn't have to borrow my Mom's teal Dodge Neon anymore. I had my own car... and I didn't have to share it with anyone. I still remember the day I got it. My Grandfather called my Dad and told him that he was willing to give me his other car. My Dad gave me the "you need to be responsible and this is a privilege" talk.  Then we went to pick the car up at my Grandparents house. It was a 1986 Pontiac Sunbird. It was beautiful. The car was in great shape for it's age and still had a bit of a shine to it. It was the color of a worn penny, but to me it might as well been the color of a million dollars. 

That day that I picked up my car I began to make it mine. I bought a new radio and cow-skin seat covers that were hastily installed in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart I shopped at. I then grappled over picking a name for my new treasure. I chose the name Abe. A perfect fit. 

Now, in case you were unaware... for a senior in high school, owning your own car meant much more than just the convenience of not having to borrow your Mom's teal mobile. It took me to a whole new level. I actually skyrocketed into a whole new social scene that day. I had my own car. This meant I could actually take advantage of parking in the senior class parking lot. I could be seen by my peers every morning on my long walk of popularity from my parking space to the school. I'll never forget the anticipation I felt the day I got to broadcast my new status. It was like I was getting ready to walk the red carpet. I made sure that I picked the perfect outfit to impress my classmates and I did everything in my power to have a noticeably exceptional hair day. The setting was flawless. My moment had come... and I was ready to soak it in. 

Then my storybook dream fell apart. On my way to school that morning I was driving behind a school bus packed full of students who didn't have a car. I was following the bus marveling over the fact that I was no longer one of them. Then, without warning... the bus made a sudden stop and I smashed right into the back of it. I had my car for a week... a week! As you could imagine my biggest fear was reporting my unfortunate event to my Dad. I had scenes of intense torture and cruel punishment running through my head. I'll never forget dialing his phone number after the accident. It was like my world was crawling in super slow motion. Each number as I dialed it sounded like a drawn out wail. When my Dad picked up, I peed my pants... or at least it felt that humiliating. I told him everything that had happened and winced as I waited to hear how my life would end. Then he said something that I never expected. My Dad asked if I was okay, he told me everything would be alright, that he would take care of it and that he loved me. Do you know that feeling? That feeling like your on the edge of losing everything and then unexpectedly your world gets flipped upside down? It's a great feeling... a feeling I need to be reminded of more often.

I was reminded of that feeling today. How often have you fully digested the intensity of God's unfailing love? Think about it. God's love is incredibly simple yet unbelievably complex and unimaginable. It doesn't make sense. It's the exact opposite of what you would expect. How often do you shuffle into the presence of God expecting humiliation and disappointment and discover a safe-house of approval and hope. The love of God can't be explained by our insufficient vocabulary, but it's real and it's true and it's unlike anything that we could ever expect. When was the last time you took a moment to sit and feel the power of God's love for you? How would your day be different if you could sense the reality of God's unfailing love for you? A love like this can't be understood... and I can't get enough of it.

the devil made me do it!

Have you ever heard the saying "if the devil can't make you bad he'll make you busy?" I don't know if I honestly believe that. Lately my life feels like structured chaos. I had no idea how busy I could actually make myself. In the last few weeks my schedule has been through a vigorous work-out and free time has been nearly fictional. This current chaos is a result my own drive for connectedness and production. I am the only one who can be blamed and I think to pawn it off on something other than my own doing would be cowardly. 

In my opinion... for what it's worth... I think a lot of us give the Accuser way more credit than he deserves. As humans we are so quick to hand over responsibility... because it keeps things less messy. We think that if we aren't responsible for the mess than we won't have to worry about the clean-up. We are not unreasonably busy because it's a part of Satan's master plan. We are unreasonably busy because we won't take responsibility for our time. The devil is not making me busy... I am making me busy. It is no ones fault but my own and I know why I'm doing it. 

I have bought into the lie that my production is a result of my value. I am getting caught up in trusting my abilities over God's actuality and my busy schedule is just one aspect of my life that reveals my inconsistencies. I want to change that. I know that my true value and worth comes from the one who renews all things... even me. My plan is to slow down and enjoy the moments in life that are often overlooked as a result of life's momentum.

If the pace of life is steadily building into a sprint... it's your responsibility to take a break, catch your breath and reevaluate your priorities. Take responsibility and make time to enjoy the world around you before it's out of your view. When was the last time you didn't feel busy? When was the last time you stopped for a scenic overlook or took the long way to class just to enjoy a few more moments of fresh air? When was the last time you sat down and had a cup of coffee when it wasn't in your schedule of events for the day? Busy does not equal a happy life. Busy equals stress, irritability and distraction. Make time a priority... before it's too late.