long time, no see...

My life has been chaotic for the past few months. Hence why I haven't written anything on here in a while. With everything that goes along with planting a church, working part-time with The Pittsburgh Kids Foundation and attempting to be a good husband... extra minutes in a day are few and far between. The past few months have forced me to appreciate the short silent moments I randomly discover throughout the day. I value them. I wished I had more of them. 

I have seen and experienced a lot over the last few months, but the one thing that has been on my radar lately is the unfailing, faithful work of God through His followers. It's amazing to me how God chooses to do His work through us. It's not like He has any obligation to. He doesn't owe us to partner with Him. It's not like we struck some kind of deal with God that if we "give" our hearts to Him, He will work through us. It's just something He does... He does it all the time. Over the last few months I have seen normal everyday people do extraordinary things, not by their own power, but through the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through them. 

I spoke with someone who was haunted by mistakes of the past... and when we spoke, it was like God was revealing to them the unbelievable power that He has over the lies of the Accuser. I didn't do or say anything special... neither did the person I was talking to. But God still displayed the weight of His authority. It was a "lightbulb" moment for both of us. We saw the face of God in a conversation of pain and regret... and hope was born. Why does He do that? How does He do that? I'm so glad I don't know. I like not having the capability of understanding the enormity of God or the reason for His work. The experience is all I need. 

God displays Himself like this all of the time through people. That's church for me! Church is when I see the work of God through people. We are incapable of doing anything good with out the work of God in us. All that you do is not a result of who you are... it's about who is working through you. That gives me a whole new appreciation for my mission in this world. I don't want people to see me. Because if they see me... they will see a distraction. I want you to see God... through me, not because of what I do, but because of what He is doing in and through me. 

May your life be about His reflection. May your work be about the privilege of having the Creator working through you. May your conversations be the very words of God exhaling from your soul... and may your heart be that of His. 

just say the word...

When I was in kindergarden my parents would drop me off every sunday morning in a Sunday school class because they thought my fidgety tendencies would draw too much attention during the morning worship service at our church. Just imagine how much more theologically intelligent I would be had they not robbed those precious years of soaking up the wisdom poured out from that pulpit.  I guess I won't hold that against them, they had no idea i'd be logically deficient. Anyways, I remember those years spent in that classroom fondly. One of the many memories that often come to mind are the joys experienced as a result of Sunday morning snack time. Mrs. Johnston, our teacher would always have us recite a prayer in unison before she would rain-down plentiful amounts of goldfish crackers and teddy grahams. The prayer was almost always the same and rarely deferred off the path of conventionality. It went like this, "God is great, God is good, God thank you for the food, Amen!" Then like puppies awaiting their master's cue to indulge in a treat rewarded after obedience, a feeding chaos ensued. 

That simple repetitive prayer followed me through the years. My parents would always require one of us to pray before our dinner "conversation" would escalate into a debate and my prayer would always include Mrs. Johnston's prayer. Every once in a while I would spice things up by throwing in a little something extra, but the recipe was always the same. Unfortunately my years of prayer abuse have created a pretty adolescent understanding of the role of prayer in my life. All too often prayer is a result of duty and immediate emergency. This circumstantial prayer is not an awful thing. It is important to seek out help and voice concern in times of need and habits have good intention, but often lose their authenticity due to repetition.  

Last week this truth was brought to light in the confines of my thoughts. My staff came together with their significant others for a time of prayer for our church, Northbridge Community Church. It was a time of prayer, worship, and communion. It was awesome to be a part of something that felt so in tune to God's rhythm of the way the church should be. When we opened our time of prayer Jame, our Lead Pastor, shared something God had been teaching him about prayer that struck a chord in my heart. Jame talked about the faith of the Centurion in Luke chapter 7. The story goes something like this, Jesus was traveling from city to city teaching and doing some amazing things. Word had spread to a centurion who was troubled because his servant, whom he cared deeply for, was very sick and about to die. So, the centurion sent some of his friends to get Jesus to heal this servant. On their way back to the house, the group was met by some more friends of the centurion who had a message for Jesus. The centurion's message to Jesus was, "I'm not worthy to have you come to my house,... so just say the word and my servant will be healed!" Jesus was blown away by the centurion's faith and said, "I tell you; I have not found such great faith even in Isreal." The centurion knew that Jesus was capable of amazing things and believed that Jesus didn't even need to touch the servant to heal him. Jesus was bigger than that. The men returned to the house and the servant was alive and well. What a great story... that I often overlook. 

I wished I had faith like that. Faith to ask for something big and have all the certainty in the world that it will happen. All too often I find myself going to God with half-hearted requests that I never count on. The sad part is that when my requests turn out the way I had hoped, I rarely give God the credit. I go to God out of duty and rarely dependency. My dependency is only elevated when the waters get rough,... then I need God's help. The rest of the time I depend on my abilities. I want to have the faith to ask for big things from God. I'm sure i'm not the only one who abuses prayer. What does your prayer life look like? Is your prayer shallow and seasonal? What would it be like to have the faith and certainty of the centurion? 

my walk of shame....

"The Love of God is Absolute"

-Billy Graham

I was reminded again this week of how much I love my small group. It's no wonder that the early church exploded overnight. If it was anything like my small group I can understand why everyday people were divinely inspired to do amazing things for the glory of God. This past week we were discussing how difficult it is to actually live out our faith. We found that many of us tiptoe on the tightrope of casual Christianity because of either fear, lack of confidence, or laziness. It's so easy to write off these deficiencies as actually waiting for the right moment. I mean think about it... how many times have you not chosen to speak up about something that you know is wrong because you're afraid you will be viewed as "that guy". Or how about this one... you would rather just not address that issue because it would just take too much time... and you are sure that God has someone else better equipped to deal with that person. I find myself arguing with that voice in the back of my head on a daily basis... and I think he's getting tired of the excuses. 

I was reading some old notes this afternoon and I came across this quote from Billy Graham. It kind of hit me right between the eyes. It's such a simple statement. The love of God is absolute. I find that statement to be so simple and true in it's very nature but my blurred reality seems to redefine it. I sing it's validity everyday but my casual stroll through life doesn't match the tune. 

As a follower of Jesus I am supposed to see the world with the eyes of the Savior but I don't. I am blinded by my own desires and lack of effort. There are people that I come in contact with that drive me crazy. There are people who desire my attention and I let myself get distracted by the next person in line. There are people I avoid because I don't want them to "bring me down". I choose my own comforts and cravings nine times out of ten and I'm getting tired of the lip service. 

I have been challenged recently to focus more on loving with the absolute love of God. Loving others regardless of their labels and regardless of my benefit. Everyday people are given the opportunity to chose Heaven or Hell... and I'm tired of letting Hell be an option. I want to create more opportunities for redemption... whatever that looks like. Maybe it's complementing that coworker who makes my blood boil or maybe it's taking the time to notice and listen to that person without looking for what's in it for me. All I know is this world needs more glimpses of Heaven and I can't wait around for other people to create them. It's our job as believers to reclaim this world. So what does that mean for you? How are you going to create more opportunities for people to choose Heaven? 

The Heart of Jesus

Have you ever hurt for someone?  Have you ever literally felt pain that was inflicted on others? Do you know what it is like to endure the repeated stab of torment imposed on someone other than your self? Whether it's the discomfort of feeling out of place or the agony of going through life feeling distress and sorrow or just feeling incomplete, the fact still remains that we all feel pain. No matter to what degree... we all feel pain. It's a 100% guarantee that anyone who has ever had the pleasure of knowing what it is to feel alive... at some point in his or her life, will know the sting of pain. 

 I recently started a new chapter in my already lengthy book of life. I feel like my life journey so far would make Rand Mcnally proud. I can't imagine the detours that are sure to eventually come, but nonetheless it’s my expedition… it’s my life. The new chapter comes as a result of my new career path… if you want to call it that. Truthfully, I wanted to have a transitory new experience outside of the comfort and protection of the church. I wanted to redefine my shallow view of “ministry.” It hasn’t taken long. This experience has already convinced me that the trenches were bigger than I thought.

I am now working with kids who have endured more pain and hurt than any horror film could ever depict. If it were possible to hear a heart break it would surely drown out the reverberation of my insignificant words. I hurt for these kids. The weight of their experience chokes what innocence they have left inside. I believe this new employment has given me new insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus had to have had the trying capacity to experience the pain of those around him. Jesus wept for the ache of his community and like the foundation of a building He sustained the burden of life.

In his book A Testament Of Devotion, Thomas Kelly wrote:

“The heart is stretched through suffering, and enlarged. But O the agony of this enlarging of the heart, that one may be prepared to enter into the anguish of others! Yet the way of holy obedience leads out from the heart of God and extends through the Valley of the Shadow.”

Right now my heart is being stretched. The Valley of the Shadow is making me more aware of the pain of my community and as outlandish as it may sound; my heart is being taken on a fantastic journey of enlargement.  So what would it mean for you to have the heart of Jesus? What would it be like if you took every opportunity to let your heart be stretched? Who in your area of influence can you share the heart of Jesus with?

Ask and you shall.... keep asking?

Someone said something to me yesterday and since then,... I feel as if it sparked a thought that has been ringing in my ears all week. My friend recently went through some fairly significant life change and was commenting on prayer... he said some thing along the lines of how surprised he was of how much of his prayer life consists of asking God for stuff. He said that and at that moment it was like my world stopped. It was like one of those scenes in a movie when the camera all of a sudden does a quick zoom to a tight shot of my face and you can literally hear the wheels turning in my head! That comment shook me... it made me see a reality that I often turned my gaze from. 

I began to really think and process why this thought hit me to the core and then I realized it. I realized something i didn't want to realize. I realized my prayer life consists so much of me asking God for things that I fear that if I didn't ask for things,... I would have nothing to say. Complete and utter silence... probably uncomfortable and naked silence. Is my relationship with God really that shallow? Is my relationship with God like that of a stranger I meet at my table at a wedding reception... soaking with friendly greetings, pointless chatter and fake interest. Wow... I hate those conversations because they feel so phony and forced. I don't want my relationship with God to be like that... I want it to be so real that it hurts. 

So,... yesterday I decided I would spend this week in prayer but I wasn't allowed to ask God for anything. Our conversation could only consist of praise and silence. It was so difficult. I had to catch myself and stop... a lot.... in fact, more times than i'd like to admit. I told God during my morning drive that I would spend it in complete silence and try to hear what He had to say. A minute later a tractor trailer in front of me blew it's tire and almost hit me. I really don't know what that's supposed to mean. I haven't really drawn any conclusions about it yet, I know God is revealing a good work in me... i just don't have the eyes to see it yet, but I'm sure it will come in His time. Control is a hard thing to give up... but when you do... it changes your perspective and you start seeing things a little clearer!

P.S. You need to get the new Leeland CD....... incredible!